Easy Lover
by Becca Bing
Summary: She played with him. He taught her a lesson she will never forget. -CnM- please r&r thanks! :)
1. Present

**_Easy Lover_** – Prologue

_Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Anyone want a starburst? Oh wait, I don't own those either. =( _

The phone rings yet again. Chandler sighs, willing himself to get up off the couch. Slowly, he walks over to the phone and stares at it for a moment. Then, he takes the cord from the phone and rips it out angrily. He goes back to his place on the couch and plops down. 

Why won't they just leave him alone? They have been calling for days now. His "friends" are trying to get him to do something that they _know _he doesn't want to do. _Some friends,_ he thinks bitterly. 

And they really weren't good friends, now that he thinks about it. He slaps his forehead. He doesn't want to think about it! He is trying his hardest not to think about it. Yet, for some reason, they keep bringing it up again and again and again. He wants to forget, but what they want from him will make him remember. 

Maybe he should just go? It would mean the world to the rest of them. He would just have to swallow his feelings and make sure he stayed away from her as long as possible. _Damnit! _He realizes, _heeeerrrr! _No, no, he couldn't go back. He couldn't see her again. She will draw him to her, like a fly upon sugar, and then, when his back is turned, she will bring down the fly swatter on his heart. 

He shutters violently, thinking about _her_. He doesn't want to think about _her. He has moved away, he has stopped seeing his friends and he has changed his entire life just so he can forget her. The problem is, all he can do is remember. _

He turns on the television and flips through the channels. He's getting frustrated that he has so many channels. He finally settles on a movie that looks interesting, and oddly familiar. Maybe he has seen it before? Suddenly, he realizes why it looks familiar, as the lead female role comes into view. He shuts it off, before throwing his remote control across the room. It hits the wall and splits in half. 

How is he supposed to work on forgetting?! Everything he ever sees reminds him of her. He is angry now. Angry that nobody cares that his heart has been ripped apart, angry that the memory of her face is etched in his brain, angry that her smell, the way she moves, the way she smiles, the way she talks, are all stored in a torturous file in his heart. 

As much as he resents everything, he finally gives in to one of the pressures around him. Closing his eyes, he sees her face, a guilty pleasure. Then, he remembers what brought him to where he is now…

If u want a good song to listen to, get **She Will be Loved **by **Maroon 5**. *plays it again* Author's note is in the next chapter… 


	2. She'll Get a Hold on You Believe it

_Easy Lover_ – She'll get a hold on you believe it 

**_A/N: _**_So um, hi! I'm Becca! =) Does anyone remember me? I've been on hiatus for like ever and a day. Yeah, you know how life can get for some people… (shhh Yen! The don't know that I'm not some people!) Between SAT's, Physics, driving, SAT's, Physics, my website, SAT's, Physics, being lazy, SAT's, Physics (wait, did I say that before? Well, THEY ARE EVIL! =-o) Okay, so I don't think there's much to explain. Chandler doesn't know anyone at the beginning, Monica only knows Ross… yeah. The fanfic title and chapter titles comes from the song **Easy Lover** by **Phil Collins**. My mom loves him, so I grew up on him, and it was only a matter of time before he leaked into one of my fics. (wow that made me sound young, didn't it?) If it sucks, then that's okay, cuz I can just as easily stop posting again. So review if you don't want that to happen. Thanks. ;) _

**_Disclaimer: _**_I don't own the characters. In fact, I don't even own myself. Yen owns me. (psst, If you haven't read **The Valentine** already, then go read it. It kicks major ass.)_

Sitting on a brown couch in a small waiting room, he looked around nervously. Some people were reading over lines from various booklets, while others were sitting casually, sipping coffee and chatting on their cell phones. Chandler, however, was sitting there stiffly. Everyone else looked like they were so much more prepared and experienced than he. _Well, _he looked over to the man sitting a few seats away from him, who was trying to stuff too many cookies into his mouth, _almost everyone looks more experienced than me. _

The man who was stuffing his mouth looked over to Chandler and smiled, food falling from his mouth. Chandler tried his hardest to smile back, but it mostly looked like a grimace. He turned away, disgusted. 

He hadn't been to many callbacks. This was something fairly new to him. Especially, since he had _never _been to a callback for such a popular role. After all, his best gigs included having various miniscule roles on movies, such as waiters, doormen, and the ever-so-popular taxi driver, all of which included lines that were either around two words or inexistent. However, this time, he was trying for the role of one of the main characters! It had been on a whim, really. His agent called and said there was this role opened that was perfect for him. He had to go try out that day. So, Chandler decided to just do it. There was nothing for him to could lose (aside from his self esteem). 

And he had gotten a callback! He was ecstatic just to have gotten that far. Still, with his happiness was anxiety. He had never had a role of this magnitude before. He looked around the room and saw some familiar faces from various movies and television shows. How could he compete with that? Long ago, he decided he obviously wasn't a very good actor. After all, he had been trying for almost ten years to land that "perfect role" that would bring him to stardom and was _still _searching. Yet, he stuck around. Something was calling him to acting. It was a feeling he never possessed while working in his old, dead ended job. He didn't have the willpower to leave it. 

Suddenly, Chandler was jolted out of his thoughts when he was tapped on the shoulder. He turned to his right and saw that same man who had been stuffing cookies into his mouth. There were bits of chocolate on the man's face now. 

"Hey," the man began, "I'm Joey. Joey Tribianni."

Chandler nodded courteously and shook his hand, "I'm Ch-andler…Chandler Bing."

"Wow, that's an odd name."

Chandler, who was busy wiping off the chocolate that had transferred onto his hand, looked up and nodded distractedly.  

"So, what part you up for?"

"Uh, the part for Alan."

Joey laughed. "I can see it! You are _so an Alan!"_

Chandler cleared his throat. Normally, such a statement would have probably offended him, but he figured it was supposed to be a compliment. "Yeah, thanks. Are you up for the role of John?"

Joey proudly rolled up his sleeves. "You know it."

"Well, uh, good – I mean, break a leg."

"Thanks, man. You too."

Chandler nodded, about to pick up some lines to practice, when Joey tapped his shoulder again.

"Yeah?"

"Dude," Joey pointed to their right, "Look over there!" 

Chandler sighed and looked over. However, his he was not prepared for what he was about to see. He could have sworn his heart stopped beating when he saw her. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen! He continued to stare, wide-eyed, until she left the room and Joey nudged him again.

"Yeah?!"

He chuckled. "You a fan of hers?"

Chandler blushed and shrugged. "It's just…wow…she's…so much more…beautiful in real life. I mean she was already beautiful, but…"

Joey shrugged. "I dunno…"

"Wha – what?"

"I mean, sure she's hot and all that, but I think I've seen hotter."

Chandler looked at him incredulously. "How can _anyone be more beautiful than that?!"_

"Obviously, you haven't been out much."

"Uh, what?"

"Come on, there are better fish in the sea."

Chandler swallowed his incredible urge to punch Joey in the stomach. How could he keep saying that?! There was no one more beautiful than her. There couldn't be!

"Wow," Chandler whispered, "Do you think she'll get the part?"

"Uh, yeah. You're obviously not up on Hollywood news. She already did!"

"Wha – how?"

"Think about it. Her name's Monica _Geller, _right?"

"Umm, yeah."

"The director is Ross _Geller_. See the connection?"

"Really? I must not have been paying attention to the name."

"I heard she's gonna be in the room when we audition."

"Uh," Chandler began to feel dizzy, "Really?"

"Yup. Anyways, I heard the other female role is filled, too."

"Really? By who?"

"Uh, this woman…Rachel something…"

Chandler shrugged. 

Joey smiled. "I heard she got it from sleepin' with the director."

"Really?! Huh. I wonder if there are any women _I _could sleep with to get this part…"

"Nope. I already tried. Got some good sex, though." 

A few hours passed, and it was _finally _Chandler's turn to audition. Before he walked out on stage, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He could do this. He just had to be confident and try his hardest not to make any jokes. He let out the breath shakily. That would be harder than he thought. _I could really go for a cigarette now_, he thought wishfully. However, he knew he couldn't leave them waiting any longer, so he walked out on stage. 

There were five people sitting in the first row. The dark-haired man on the left, Chandler figured, must be the director. However, as he continued to look around the room, he didn't see Monica Geller. Joey must not have known what he was talking about. 

"State your name please," one of the people on the right directed. 

"Chandler Bing."

"Okay, read your lines."

Chandler cleared his throat and opened his script to the first page. Then, he began to read, looking up at the audience when needed. "I'm sorry, Alexas! I didn't _know _John would be there. Otherwise, I would have kicked his ass for you. Well, I would have tried to, anyway…"

Chandler looked up for emphasis, but that was when he saw her enter the auditorium and take a seat behind her brother. Suddenly, he felt his chest contort and the words would no longer come out.

"Mr. Bing?" the casting director prodded, "Is everything all right?" 

A blonde-haired woman, sitting next to Ross whispered, "He looks really pale."

"Sir, if you can't finish, would you please leave?" 

Suddenly, Chandler realized that if he didn't finish, he would never get the chance to see Monica Geller again! This was his one chance to be in a movie with her! He couldn't blow this. She was too beautiful. He looked at her again. Gorgeous, dark curls, reaching her shoulders, framed her pale face. She was wearing jeans and a red blouse, but, to Chandler, it didn't matter. To him, she was so breathtaking that it was like she was wearing a beautiful, eloquent gown. Finally, he tore his eyes from her and tried to concentrate on the lines and not her face. 

"No, no, sorry, I'm fine, I'm fine."

Then, with confidence that he had never seen in himself before, he continued his lines.

A few days later, Chandler was sitting in his one-roomed apartment, watching television in his pajamas (one of the only perks, he found, of being unemployed) when his phone rang. He rose lazily, cleared his throat, and lifted it from its cradle. 

"Hello, Chandler Bing speaking."

"Bing, you are _not _going to believe what I have to tell you!" his agent began.

"Bob, we've been here before. If I didn't get the part, just tell me. No fake outs!"

"No, Bing, I swear you got the job!"

Chandler shook his head. "Yeah, right."

"Bing, I promise you, you got the job."

"Really? You're not pulling my leg."

"Swear on my mother's grave."

"You hate your mother. That doesn't help."

"Okay, okay, I swear to God you got the part!"

"You hate God. That doesn't help either."

"Oh, come on, Chandler! I swear on my _own life_ you got the job!"

Chandler paused. "I got the job?"

"You got it."

"Oh my God," Chandler whispered. He sat down on the couch, completely numb. He had convinced himself he wouldn't get the part, yet he had.  

"And Alan Miller, my friend," his agent said, "Is finally alive…"

_Um, yeah. So should I continue? Probably not. =( Oh well. I shouldn't still be self conscious about my writing after a year, should I? (yes, it's been a year now since I posted my first fic! I can't believe it.) Oh well. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! =D _


	3. Before You Know it, You'll Be on Your Kn...

**_Easy Lover _**– _Before You Know it, You'll Be on Your Knees_

**_A/N:_**_ Uh, I don't know anything about acting or…anything of the sort. If I get facts wrong (which I already have. Thanks to Jen for pointing that out. =) ) then I'm terribly sorry. If you want authenticity, then I suggest you don't read this fic. I just don't know much. After all, I spend most of my days doing either homework or sitting around on my ass all day in front of the television/computer. I'm sorry. =/ Well, with all those formalities out of the way, please review. Thanks for the great reviews! =) And a special thanks to Jana. Your kind words were greatly appreciated. ___

**_Disclaimer: _**_I don't own these characters, but I do own domain space. That's the second coolest thing in the world to say you own. Well, that's not true, a jaguar, a movie theater, and a villa in France would be cooler. Actually, **owning** France would be the shit. Hmm…something to strive for… Now what college should I go to if I want to own a country?_

_This chapter is dedicated to my Yen-a-len. Thanks for 10 months of being my rock, my heart, and my monkey buddy. Love ya forever, babe! (haha oh yes,  beware of the end a/n) _

The rehearsals for the movie had begun. It had only been a month since the last audition, but it felt like years to the anxious Chandler. He wanted to see Monica again. The night before the first day, sleep had not come to Chandler. He was too deep in the spell. Everything about her made his mind go blank. It wasn't just her beauty. The way she had walked into the auditorium, so confident, like she was sizing up everything in the room. It was an attention he had never seen anyone pay to anything before. 

Now, however, as the first week began, he had barely seen Monica. She had only shown up for the rehearsals. Otherwise, she either spoke with the director or disappeared into her trailer. 

The others regarded her as stuck-up. In fact, that day, at lunch, Rachel, the other female lead role, had claimed that, when trying to make conversation with her, she only answered Rachel's questions with as little as possible. And then, there was the fact that, while the other lead actors, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey, were eating lunch together, she was hidden away in her trailer. 

Still, while Joey and Rachel bad-mouthed Monica, she was still on Chandler's mind constantly. He had even begun to read articles about her. He knew it was a bit tasteless, but it was the only way he could think of to get to know her better. After all, he couldn't just go up to her and start talking. She made it crystal clear that she did not wish to be bothered, by keeping away from everyone else. So, he followed her wishes. Besides, what would a loser like him say to one of the most high-demanded actresses in Hollywood? 

Instead, he lived for the time they spent practicing their scenes together. She would act as a person who cared about the person he was pretended to be. Despite that, it excited him that they had been written for each other; that at the end of the movie, he would get to kiss her. His lips ached to touch hers. 

However, he knew he couldn't let out his feelings. It wasn't as if he had anyone to tell, anyway. He really didn't have any friends he could trust. He considered telling Joey and Rachel, but realized they would end up laughing at him until tears flowed down their cheeks.

Instead, he swallowed his feelings and went on with the show. That was not only part of his job, but also the story of his life. He could never find a woman that he really wanted to be with, that wanted him as well. Instead, he was turned down again and again by countless women. He didn't want the famous, powerful Monica Geller to do the same to him. He decided to confine his love, and left it for her many adoring fans to shower upon her instead. 

During one of the few, short breaks they got, Chandler walked down a corridor, alone with his thoughts. Everyone else had complained of the short breaks that the obsessive Ross Geller allowed, but Chandler appreciated them. He not only wanted to spend as much time with Monica as he could, but he wanted to spend as much time away from his thoughts as possible. It was too painful to think of his situation. It was too painful to remember that he was in love with someone who barely knew he existed.

As they ran though the lines again, Chandler tried to keep his mind off the inevitable. Instead, he attempted to not muddle the part he was playing at the moment. It was his only chance, and he wasn't going to allow his nervous habits to ruin it. He, as Alan, could touch her! Chandler swallowed hard, and began to run a finger down her pale cheek. It was so soft, like silk, and it left his finger throbbing for hours. It made him want to touch her more. Instead, he persevered as his character, cursing under his breath when the last scene was finished for the night. 

Joey, Rachel, and Chandler walked through the large lot adjacent to the building. Joey spied a glance of Monica entering her trailer and laughed.

"Do you guys think she _lives _in there or something?"

Rachel laughed and shook her head. "Why would she need that?! She's a millionaire!"

"Yeah, true. Some people just don't know how to _behave_ when they have all that money," Joey turned to Chandler, "Right, Buddy?"

Chandler didn't answer, but continued looking in the direction of her trailer. 

"Uch, Chandler," Joey whined loudly, making Chandler look at him questioningly, "Don't tell me you _still _have the hots for her!"

Chandler tried his best to cover up his flushed cheeks. "What are you talking about? Of course I don't!"

"You look like you do!" Rachel replied teasingly.

"No, you look like you do!"

"Yeah," Rachel deadpanned, "Great comeback."

"Dude, take it from someone who knows," Joey coaxed, "She's not worth it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean come on! The most you're gonna get outta her is a good fuck."

"What? That's not true."

Rachel nodded sadly. "Come on, Chandler. You've heard the rumors."

"Yeah, but…how do you know they're true?!"

"Well, I don't…but I dunno…"

"I mean Joey told me you got the job by –"

"Dude!" Joey whispered harshly, "Don't say anything!" 

Chandler looked away shamefully. 

"What did he say?"

"That you slept with Ross."

Rachel looked offended.

"It's show business. Get over it, babe."

Rachel scoffed, "I know."

"See! It's not true about Rachel!"

"Yeah, but people have taken pictures of her having drinks with strange men, sneeking out of hotels…"

"You don't know that!"

"Chandler…" she looked away sadly.

"Come on, Rach, just let it be. It's a little crush. Sooner or later, he'll see the light and become…uncrushed."

"Poetic, man," Chandler stated flatly.

Joey smiled genuinely, "Thanks."

Rachel and Chandler shared an amused look. 

The three of them trudged on through the lot, with Chandler continuing to filch glances at the trailer when no one was looking. After two minutes, Chandler saw a figure walk out the door and around the corner. Curious to find out if it was Monica, and, if so, where she was going, he stopped walking.

"Shit!"

"What is it?" Rachel wondered.

"I…uh, I left my coat inside the building."

"Really? You were wearing a coat? Why? I mean it's LA…"

"Yeah, well…I kinda get cold easily."

"Um, all right…" Rachel agreed, "Want us to wait?"

"Aww, but I'm hungry!" Joey complained.

"No, no, I'll be fine. Thanks you guys. I'll see ya tomorrow.

"See ya.

"Bye man."

Chandler turned around and began to walk back to the building, sneaking glances at Rachel and Joey over his shoulder. Finally, when he was unable to see them any longer, he turned to his right and headed over to the area behind the trailer, where he had seen the figure go. He looked around, but saw no trace of anyone. The lot seemed completely empty. However, after a moment, he spotted an empty warehouse, not too far from the spot he was standing. 

As he entered the warehouse, he was surprised to see it in fairly good condition. After all, it was empty and, from the outside, looked as if it hadn't been used for some years now. He stopped a few feet from the entrance and looked around. At first glance, he seemed completely isolated. However, when he began to look around again, he noticed a figure sitting on a crate and staring out a window on the opposite side of the room. Cautiously, he approached the person, trying fruitlessly to stifle the sounds of his shoes hitting the floor that echoed through the empty room. 

The person looked up, as Chandler approached. It was her! However, she was merely staring at him. As he got closer, it began to make him feel uneasy. Didn't she want to know why he was here? Wasn't she going to yell at him to leave? When he was only a few feet away from her, she turned around and began to look out the window again. Chandler picked up another crate and brought it closer to her, before sitting down. 

She looked at him again. This time, he could tell she was studying him more closely. He tried to keep himself calm, but it was hard not to seem anxious. After a minute, he took out a cigarette and lit it. Then, he held out the pack to her. 

"Want a cigarette?"

Monica studied the white package in his hand, and then looked into his eyes. Chandler fought the urge to look away. 

"No thanks."

"Oh, okay then. Well, do you mind if I smoke in here?"

"No, go ahead," she answered in a monotonous voice, "Just don't drop it in here. This place is completely made out of wood."

Chandler chuckled. Then, there was silence again.

"Sorry if I'm interrupting anything. I was just looking for somewhere to take a smoke." He cringed at his terrible excuse.

"S'okay."

He took a long drag from his cigarette. "Wow, this place is pretty clean. I mean the other warehouses I've been in weren't…clean." He looked away, embarrassed of his lack of conversational skills.

"Yeah, I…cleaned it."

"Really? Why?"

She shrugged. "I was bored."

"Oh. So, um, do you come here often?"

"I'm just waiting for my brother to come out."

"I see. He's a great director, you know?"

"Sure."

"You, uh, don't think so?"

"No, I do!" she jumped up, "Don't go spreading that I don't think he is, okay?!"

Chandler was taken aback. "Uh…I - I won't. I'm sorry. I – wasn't planning on it."

Monica sighed. "Sorry. You just never know who's tracking you," she threw him a suspicious look, "You know?"

"Not really, since no one knows who I am," Then he added quickly, "But I can imagine."

"This your first movie?"

"Nah. It's just…all my other movies flopped."

"I've been there."

"R- really?"

"Well, what? Did you think I just walked into an audition one day and they just accepted me?"

"Well, no, just – "

"I started acting when I was 15. I didn't get my big break until I was 24. I'm 27 now."

"Oh. Well, I'm glad you did. You deserve it. You're…_really _talented."

"Thanks."__

"Yeah, I mean, I have _never _acted with someone so amazing! I mean…I guess I don't have much to compare you to. Although, I _did co_-star with an Asian monkey named Yen."

Monica laughed. "Well, I guess I don't really hold much to a monkey."

"Oh this wasn't just any monkey. It was a monkey with a _huge crush on me."_

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Monkey kisses…not so nice."

Monica chuckled again. "I could imagine."

Chandler laughed with her, until there was silence again. He took a few more puffs from his cigarette. Monica looked down at her watch.

"Oh wow, I should really get going. My brother's probably looking for me by now."

"Okay, well, uh, it was nice talking to you!"

"Yeah, yeah, you, too."

"I'll uh, see you tomorrow?"

"Yup. Tomorrow."

Chandler watched as Monica walked through the warehouse door and out of sight. He took a huge drag from his cigarette and then, forgetting there was no back to his seat, leaned backwards, falling off the crate. He just stayed there on the ground; that didn't matter. He had talked to Monica. He felt invisible. 

_Okay, well…yeah. I tried. To be continued soon. Please read and review, thanks. =) _

__ _ _ _ _ __

_So, I decided to leave this part for the end, so I didn't scare everyone away, but HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YEN! =) Thaaaaat's right, it's our 10-month anniversary! (hey, Chandler and Monica celebrated their 10-month, but had to be seated at 11:30, had to get the chicken, and couldn't get desert, so why can't we celebrate?)  Now, some of you may be wondering what it's a 10-month anniversary of… (while, for the rest of you, this just confirms your suspicions that we are, in fact, lovers…we're not, by the way). It's been 10 months since we first met in that AIM chatroom with Jenni! Wow that was so long ago…back in the days when Yen was merely known as "Jenni #2".  Anyways, here's a montage of memories from my head straight to yours… (please don't lose all respect for for =p)_

_1) __Meeting in Jenni's (the other Jenni) chat_

_2) __Talking about Friends, The Lovely Bones, and other stuff_

_3) __Being happy that Yen IM'ed me the next time she was online =)_

_4) __Some stuff in between that I won't mention =/_

_5) __Having my first drunken marriage proposal turned down_

_6) __Jealous friends_

_7) __Our first fight *sob*_

_8) __Becoming Becca from volleyball_

_9) __Having my second drunken marriage proposal turned down_

_10)__ Birthdays_

_11)__ Parting for three days when I was in DC and then again when Yen was at camp/I was in NYC_

_12)__ Having my third drunken marriage proposal accepted! =D (when are we getting married, anyways?) _

_13)__ The letters I got from Yen when I was in NYC! *squishes*_

_14)__ The cell phone incidents…_

_15)__ And of course, the next big step, x-mas pressies! =) Oh gosh, commitment…can't breath_

_That was fun. Heh. I think I lost everyone now. I probably should have waited until our one year to post this, but I was thinking about it in history (I know there are better things to think about, but it's hard to grasp a thought when your friend pulls your curls every 5 seconds and yells "boing!" every time. Oh, and when we're learning…which never happens, but whatever…she doesn't say it, but I know she's thinking it!) and I had to post it cuz I knew I'd forget. I think I'll just go… I got a bit carried away. *innocent*_


	4. She'll Take Your Heart, but You Won't Fe...

**_Easy Lover _**- _She'll take your heart but you won't feel it_

**_A/N: _**_School is the root of all evil and I don't care what anyone else says. ;)  Please read and review, thanks. _

**_Disclaimer: _**_Click your heels and count back from three, do you want to go back, you should have known that the butterfly in reverse here is me. _

_Yeah, okay, so I don't own those song lyrics, along with owning none of the characters in this fic, but I love Counting Crows. =)_

Chandler whistled to himself as he entered the building the next morning. Today was going to be _great_. It had to be. Monica had _talked_ to him. He couldn't believe it. Sure, talking was a small step, but that would just be the beginning. He would have to charming, of course, because she was the famous Monica Geller. There were a million other men lusting after her. But he could do it. He could win her heart. Confidence rose in his chest – he could. 

However, when he entered the studio, everything was the same. He, Rachel, and Joey hung out near the snack table, while Monica sat alone on the other side of the room. Chandler had tried to make eye contact. She avoided it at all costs. Now, he was nervous again. Maybe he shouldn't go back and talk to her. He had been the one to take the first step yesterday – shouldn't she be the one to do it today? Of course, nothing worked like that and Chandler knew it. He couldn't decide what to do and it was driving him crazy.

He sipped from his bottle of water as he watched her rehearse a scene a separate scene. He was mesmerized. Every time she moved her lips, he moved his with hers. She made him want to kiss her, to touch her, to smell her, to be a part of her. He knew he would do anything to win her heart. Apparently, he wasn't the only one who was captivated by her.

As the workday drew to a close, Chandler watched, out of the corner of his eye, as a young, rugged cameraman, with locks of sun-dyed blonde hair approached her. He held his breath. It did him no good. 

The man smiled and complimented her acting. She nodded in return. Chandler bit his lip. Then he told her she was beautiful. She blushed. Chandler racked his fingers through his hair, nervously. The man looked her up and down and, after licking his lips, asked if she wanted to get to know him better. She nodded. Chandler turned around. The man offered Monica his arm. He wanted to punch the man. He held it back.  They passed Chandler on their way out. Chandler tried not to look, but he couldn't help himself. He could've sworn he saw her eyes linger on him for a few moments. However, Chandler wrote it off as his overly optimistic imagination. 

Joey passed a bottle of beer to Chandler and patted him on the back. Chandler forced a smile in return. Still, he still couldn't get his mind off Monica. She had gone with that other guy! Of course she had, though. How could he have been so stupid as to believe she would go out with a guy like him? Chandler began to pick at the beer label. He knew that he should be happy. He was working on a movie with _so much_ potential. He was told it would probably go far – be his portal to stardom. And that was what he had always wanted. Well, until he met her. Now, it just wasn't that important. In fact, in a heartbeat, he would trade it all for Monica's heart.   

Chandler looked around. Most of the cast and crew were in the bar. He tried to find Monica, but to no avail. Of course he couldn't find her. After all, she was off _falling in love _with that cameraman. 

Joey slumped over to Chandler's side and punched him playfully on the arm. Chandler grimaced, but tried not to show any sign of weakness. 

"Duuude! Drink!"

Chandler nodded and took a sip.

"That was nothing, watch this." Joey picked up his sixth bottle of beer and chugged it.

Chandler laughed. 

"Come on! Just do it. It'll make you feel better."

Chandler nodded and took a large gulp of his beer.

"Well, that's better…but not quite there yet. Come on, drink Monica away."

The mention of her name from someone else's lips made his insides burn. He took the beer, and, mimicking Joey, chugged the whole thing. He wanted to forget her. He had no chance with her, so what was the use of pining? Joey cheered and, when the beer was finished, Joey ordered him another one. Chandler gulped down that one, too. 

Soon enough, with Joey's assistance, Chandler was plastered. He and Joey were slumped at the bar, now merely sluggishly sipping their beers. Joey punched him in the arm again. 

"Oww."

"Did that hurt?"

Chandler paused. "No."

"Yeah riiiight."

"No, really it didn't."

"Uh-huh. Hey, where's that girl you love?"

"I don't love anyone."

"Yeah right."

Chandler shrugged. "She went away with some…cameraman after work."

"Oh! You mean Dan?!"

"He has a name?!" Chandler spat.

"Yeah, and," Joey pointed over his shoulder to the left, "He's right over there!"

"Noooooooooooo."

"Yes!"

Chandler turned around and saw that same, blonde cameraman. He turned back and gaped at Joey.

"Do you think…she's here?"

Joey shrugged. "Probably."

"Do ya…do ya see her?"

"Nope. Maybe if we drink more, she'll come soon."

Chandler nodded and finished his next beer. 

He finished five more bottles of beer. She still didn't come. The bar was emptying out now. Joey had left him a few minutes ago to "walk" the producer home. Chandler sighed and put his head down. After ten minutes, he was poked in the arm. Chandler slowly picked up his head. The bartender was looking at him, mild anger apparent on his face.

"We're closen' up now."

"Yeah, okay."

Chandler took out his money, but, after realizing counting it was too difficult, he threw it all on the counter and left.

Once he was outside, he sat down on the curb in front of the bar. What else was he going to do? He didn't have a car and had no money to take a taxi or bus. He put his head down on his knees and waited for something to happen. He didn't know what he was waiting for, but he knew he had to wait for something. Otherwise, he would just be a guy sitting on a curb and that had to borderline pathetic, hadn't it? 

An hour passed. Chandler was drifting off, despite the uncomfortable position. He felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and at first thought he was imaging what he saw. However, the more he stared, the more he realized he wasn't. 

"What are you doing sitting here?" she asked.

Chandler shrugged. "Enjoying the night."

Monica cocked her head to the side. "Are you drunk?"

He held his hand up, but then dropped it to the side. "A little bit."

Monica laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"It's just…I hadn't pictured you as the type to just…get drunk."

"Guess you were wrong."

"Guess so. How many did you have?"

"I dunno, seven, twelve? You lose count after the fifth or so."

She laughed and shook her head. "Shouldn't you be getting home?"

"Shouldn't you? What is a woman like you doing traveling the streets at…" he looked at his wrist, but noticed his watch was missing, "Damnit!"

"What?"

"Someone stole my watch!"

"It's 2:18."

"Wow, it's later than I thought."

She laughed. "Where do you live?"

Chandler raised his eyebrows. "Who wants to know?"

Monica stared at him impatiently. 

"LA."

"No shit. Where in LA?"

Chandler looked up. "I don't remember."

Monica sighed. "I'll call Ross. He must know," she took out her cell phone, "Here, let's go to my car."

Chandler tried to stand up, but found that more difficult than it should have been. Monica grasped his arm at the elbow, and helped him get up. He thanked her. Even only under the light of the street and the moon, he could see her blush. With Monica supporting his weight, they were able to get to the car and she drove him back to his apartment. 

Monica parked outside of his apartment building's front door and turned to him. He smiled back at her.

"You gonna be able to make it?"

"Sure!" he responded as he tried to open the door.

"It's locked, Chandler."

He blushed. "Right."

After she unlocked the door for him, she watched him try to climb the stairs, but he fell down them instead. She gasped and quickly ran to his aid. 

"Maybe I should take you to your apartment."

"I think _I_ should be the one taking you to my apartment."

Monica rolled her eyes. "Come on, Chandler."

Together, they made it up the stairs, though the empty lobby, and up the elevator to his apartment. 

Monica grabbed the keys from his and opened the door. He walked into the dark room and he could see her hesitate for a moment before she followed him and found the light switch. She ushered him over to the couch and helped him remove his shoes and socks before he lay down. Then, she made them both some coffee and sat on the couch, beside his feet. It was silent for a while, as they both sipped their coffees. 

"Chandler?"

"Hmm?"

"Promise me something?"

"Anything."

"You won't _ever _get that drunk again."

He paused and then nodded. 

"You don't seem like the type to do that."

"I'm not, really. I was just depressed."

"About what?"

Chandler froze. He had said too much. He had to think of a plausible lie and think of one fast.

"My girlfriend broke up with me."

"Awww, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, it's okay, thanks."

Monica rubbed his kneecap sympathetically. "Is she from around here?"

"Nah, she's from back home."

"And where would back home be?"

"New York City."

"Oh, I grew up in New York, but not in the city. On Long Island."

"Really? Me too!"

Monica smiled.

"So when did you come out here?"

"My mom moved my family out here when I was 13. She thought my brother and I had potential." 

"Guess she was right?"

Monica shrugged. 

"My parents don't even know I moved out here."

"Wow. Why not?"

"I never told them."

She laughed. There was more silence.

"So, do you have a boyfriend?"

"That was a little blunt."

"Sorry."

"But, no, I don't."

"I, uh, I noticed you leave today that cameraman."

"I did. You jealous of me?"

Chandler thought about what she said for a moment. "No!"

She laughed. "I'm sorry, you walked right into that."

Chandler laughed. "Yeah, I guess I did."

There was a pause in the conversation.

"Why don't you ever talk to anyone on the set?"

Monica shrugged. "They all think I'm stuck up, don't they?"

"Nah," off her disbelieving look, he answered, "Yeah, a little bit."

"Oh, well..."

"But if you talk to Rachel and Joey, you would see they're really great people… when they want to be."

Monica shrugged. Noticing his empty mug, she took it into the kitchen with her own.

"Want anymore coffee?"

"Not if I want to control my bladder."

Monica laughed. "Fair enough."

When she returned, Chandler had closed his eyes. As much as he wanted to talk to her more, he couldn't stay awake. 

"Thank you for doing this," he whispered groggily.

"Don't worry about it. Get some sleep."

Before he knew it, it was 4 PM and she was gone. Slowly, he sat up, head throbbing, eyes burning from the sunlight. He leaned back on the couch and held his head. _Did I just spend the night talking to Monica Geller? _

**_A/N: _**_You know what I just realized? I graduate high school in one year, 11 months, and 27 days… but who's counting? ;) Please leave me a review, thank you for reading! =)_


	5. And I'm Just Trying to Make You See

**_Easy Lover_** _– And I'm Just Trying to Make You See_

**_A/N: _**_I'm glad I'm not the only one who counts down the days until my graduation, lol. _

**_Disclaimer: _**_I do not own any of the characters in this story. _

****

The next morning, Chandler timidly entered the studio. He was thoroughly embarrassed by his behavior the night before. Although he had gotten drunk when he was younger, he was at the point in his life where he was attempting to make a new name for himself. He wanted to be remembered by his co-workers in a dignified way, not as the guy who threw up in the corner of the bar. Still, he swallowed his fear and offered various members of the crew smiles of greeting. 

As he continued down the corridor, his mind wandered back to Monica. That wasn't surprising by now, though. He was constantly bombarded by thoughts of her, although the feeling magnified due to the prior day's events. He was touched by her actions. She had stayed with him while he was drunk, after only having one conversation with him before that day. How did she know he wasn't going to take advantage of her? 

He was thoroughly perplexed by her actions. Perhaps, driving him home was her good deed of the day – he could accept that as an excuse. But why did she stick around for so long? After all, she could have just dropped him at his door, instead of coming in, making coffee, and waiting until he fell asleep, before leaving. 

Part of him was genuinely touched by her actions. They were so kind, so noble. Yet, the other part of him was angry. Why did she have to do something so great for him? Not only was he hopelessly in love with this woman who barely acknowledged him, but now he was also indebted to her, as well. Then again, did he really owe her anything? She was, after all, the famous Monica Geller. She was one of Hollywood's highest paid actresses; any director would _die_ to her in one of their films. What could he possibly give her that she didn't already have?

And, as he walked onto the set, he was not surprised to find her sitting alone in the far corner. He attempted eye contact, and she avoided it. When they were alone, she seemed hospitable enough. She even made him laugh a few times. From what he saw, those two times, she had a personality to match her beauty. Then, why did she hide it? He shook his head, attempting to free himself from his complex thoughts, and walked over towards the snack table, where Joey and Rachel were congregated. 

"I can't go through with this," Monica whispered, "I can't just change for you."

"I'm not asking you to," Chandler answered, in the same tone, "I'm just asking you to consider coming with me."

Monica shook her head. "No. Going with you would compromise who I am. I can't do that."

Chandler swallowed hard and slowly nodded. "Then…I guess this is goodbye."

"I guess so," she looked down.

Chandler placed a finger under her chin, lifting it, "If we are meant to be, then we will happen."

Monica nodded, holding back tears. "I know."

Then, slowly, he wrapped his arms around her small frame, bringing her closer to him. She reached up and hooked her arms around his neck, lifting herself closer to his level. He ran his hands through his hair, just as he knew he had to do. Carefully, their lips met in a slow, seductive kiss. Chandler's hands caressed her cheeks with his thumbs, as he became aware again of the fifty pairs of eyes on him. He remembered the falsehood of the situation, and the reality of _his _situation. They pulled apart, eyes locked, as Chandler slowly backed away. The director yelled cut. Reluctantly, Chandler tore his eyes from hers. 

"Perfect!" Ross enthused, "Just perfect! You two have got this scene down - to - a science! That's it for tonight. Wow. I'm so happy I could…" he squeezed his eyes shut, "Yes!"

Monica looked towards Chandler and raised her eyebrows. He tried to laugh in return, but his chuckle, caught in his throat, sounded more like a cough. Monica looked away. Chandler resisted the urge to hit himself. She made him feel like he was a teenager again. 

Someone tapped Chandler's shoulder, and he turned around. Rachel smiled at him, took a bite of a red apple, and then softly nudged him in the ribs. 

"That was a great scene."

Chandler smiled. "Thanks."

"You know what?" Rachel asked, in between bites of her apple, "You two have some great chemistry."

"Really?" Chandler asked hurriedly.

"Um, yeah… Chandler, do you…still like her?"

"No," he shook his head, "No, of course not."

Rachel's scowl lingered. "Whatever you say, Chandler."

"No, really. Why don't you believe me?"

"I dunno, just…the way you look at her…"

"I'm an actor. My _character _is in love with her. I have to look at her like that when I'm in character. It's called _acting_."

"Really? Then, you were doing some amazing _acting _when we were eating lunch today…"

Chandler blushed, despite himself. "You…you saw that?"

"Chandler, the blind man saw that."

"Nah ah."  
She rolled her eyes. "Come on."

"Well, okay, so I have a crush. Is there anything wrong with that?"

"No. It's just…you have a lot of competition. I don't want you to be disappointed."

"What? You don't think I'm _good enough_ for her?!"

"Chandler, just calm down. I didn't say that."

"Well, even if you didn't say it, you sure as hell implied it!"

"Look, Chandler, don't make a scene, okay?! It's just…I don't think she's really the…settling down type of girl."

"How do you know that?!"

"Well, how many steady boyfriends has she had?"

"I don't…know."

"Look, I just don't want you to get hurt! I've only known you for a few weeks, but…you kind of feel…like a brother to me."

Chandler shook his head. "I don't need anyone to protect me."

"I'm not trying to protect you."

"Yeah, okay."

With that, Chandler abruptly turned and headed out the door, leaving a saddened and utterly baffled Rachel behind. 

As Chandler walked through the lot, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. Hastily, he flicked his lighter, and pushed the lit cigarette into his mouth. He inhaled deeply, before letting out a shaky breath. Why did he get himself into these positions? The minute he walked out of the studio, he knew he was overreacting, although he couldn't turn around after his big scene. After all, Rachel was just trying to help. But, if she really did care, then that was something foreign to Chandler. Many people had come and gone in his life. Even less had actually cared about him.

She was right, anyway. What kind of chance did he have with Monica? She was so far out of his league that she played a completely different sport. Yet, he couldn't help himself from wondering when he passed by her empty trailer. He went behind it, noticing that same abandoned warehouse that they had spoken in a few days before. He looked through the entrance, knowing Monica probably wasn't there, yet needing to look for reassurance. 

But there she was – sitting on that same wooden carton, looking through that same tiny window that overlooked the lot. Chandler took another drag from his cigarette, before slowly heading inside. It was darker inside the warehouse this time. The rehearsal had gone later than the last. 

When he finally reached the carton that he had sat upon last time, he cleared his throat. Monica turned towards him, completely unfazed by his presence. How she managed to always stay composed, he would never quite understand. 

"I was hoping I would find you here," Chandler admitted.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I just…wanted to thank you for helping me yesterday."

"No need."

"No, I really just wanted to explain that I don't go around getting that drunk all the time."

"I understand."

"I just didn't want you to judge bef –"

She shrugged, "No one's judging. But those things," she pointed to the cigarette in his mouth, "_Wil_l kill you."

Chandler smiled, despite the situation. "Want one?"

"I think I'll pass."

"Yeah…so, uh, I just wanted to know…and if you don't want to answer, that's completely fine…why did you help me? I mean you could've just left…"

Monica didn't answer.

"Um," thinking she didn't hear, he began to repeat himself. Monica cut him off.

"I heard you. You said I didn't have to answer."

He chuckled. "Oh right. So, I did."

"Well, since you seem to really want to know the answer… I stayed because I was worried about you. You were really nice to me the other day. I appreciated it and wanted to return the favor."

"Well, um, thanks. There was no reason to, though…really."

She shook her head. "We're just gonna get ourselves into one big circle, aren't we?"

Chandler laughed. "Yeah, all right." He paused. "You know, you risked a lot. I mean if the press had found out –"

"Fuck the press."

Chandler was taken aback by her harsh words. "Um, I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "They can write whatever the hell they want and shove it up their asses. I don't care what they say about me. You shouldn't care either. Remember what when you become a big star."

Chandler laughed. "Well, I dunno about big…"

Silence filled the warehouse, as Chandler took a seat on the adjacent carton and continued to smoke his cigarette. 

"When I left, you were arguing with Rachel…"

"Yeah, I was."

"Care to share?"

"Not particularly."

"Okay," she turned towards the window once again. 

He studied her back. The light of the receding sun left only a soft orange glow around her body. At that moment, more than anything else, he wanted to hold her in his arms. She was his last ray of sunlight. 

Suddenly, a crazy idea dawned on him. In fact, the idea was so impulsive that he barely knew what he was doing before he uttered the words.

"I was arguing with Rachel because she told me I didn't have a chance with you."

Monica turned around, a small smile residing on her pale lips. That smile made him nervous. Its beauty mocked him. 

"What do you think?"

His breath was caught in his chest. What was the right answer to that question?! If he said yes, it would make him sound like a pervert. If he said no, it would make him sound utterly pathetic. However, if he said he didn't know, than she would think of him as indecisive. Why had he been stupid enough to ask such a question to begin with?!

His voice cracked nervously, "I hope so."

Monica's smile grew. "Me too."

With that, she stood up and turned away from his gaze. His eyes followed her as she walked into the shadows and out the door. 

He was sinking so deep; he could hardly breath.

**_A/N: _**_Thanks for reading! Please leave me a review. :)_


	6. She’s the Kind of Girl You Dream of

**_Easy Lover – _**_She's the Kind of Girl You Dream of_

**_A/N: _**_I'm soooo happy!!! And I mean, seriously, happy. I literally squealed today. I can't remember another time in my entire life that I've squealed. Yeah, so happy holidays! :)_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I don't own these characters, but I do own: a shell necklace, sand, a crazy bunny pen, a monkey necklace, duckie slippers (thanks Yen!! Love ya!), and (insert drum roll here) **MY DRIVERS LICENSE!!!!!!! **Woot and…stuff… ;)_

A week had past. Chandler turned his back on Rachel whenever she tried to apologize, and continued to refuse all of her phone calls. He was aware that he was being harsh, but her words had truly hurt. Still, he knew he was being immature about the entire situation. Obviously, Rachel had been wrong. Monica said that he had a chance. That meant she was waiting for Chandler to ask her out – didn't it? 

But she could have been lying. She was probably just trying to spare his feelings. Yet, there was something inside his heart telling him that her words were genuine. Perhaps it was fate, or maybe it was just his heart's desire to believe her promising words, but a part of him knew they were true. 

There was turmoil within him – between his heart and his mind. His heart was telling to pursue Monica's confession, but his mind was arguing that it was all too good to be true. So far, his mind was winning. He had never loved somebody as much as he loved Monica. Chandler wasn't sure if he would be able to face the pain of rejection. Not rejection from _her_, anyway. 

So, it was only when Joey approached him during lunch that he finally found himself again within the world. He was actually grateful for the interruption. All of his contemplation felt as if it was leading nowhere – he was still ambivalent. 

"Hey Chandler."

"Hey."

There was a pause. 

"You okay?"

Chandler scratched the side of his head uncomfortably. "Ya."

Joey raised his eyebrows. "Is this about Rachel?"

Chandler shrugged. He didn't feel like being lectured on how he should make up with Rachel. He would – but not quite yet. There were other things he needed to work out first.

"She's really sorry, ya know?"

"I know," he snapped.

Instinctively, Joey moved away slightly from Chandler. Chandler sighed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I have a lot on my mind."

"Still hung up on 'you know who'?"

Chandler groaned. 

Joey nodded. "I know the feeling."

Chandler looked up, slightly surprised. "Rea – really?"

"Nah, but it felt like the right thing to say."

Chandler laughed and shook his head. 

"I don't see why you're so hung up on her, anyway."

"Why not? She's amazing."

"Really?"

"Yeah! I mean she's smart, she's funny, she's beautiful, she's classy, she's diligent…"

"Okay, I don't need her résumé here."

"Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just…try to get her out of your head. There are plenty of hot chicks around. I mean…" Joey looked around, until he found a tall blond woman eating a salad at an adjacent table, "The producer. Now she's hot."

"You mean Phoebe?"

"Yeah. Her name is Phoebe! Right!"

Chandler shrugged. "It's just…can I confess something?"

"Sure."

"You have to _swear _not to tell anyone!"

"I swear, I – I swear!"

"Okay. Well, after I, uh, stormed out on Rach... Well, I found Monica and we…got to talking. She, uh, she told me she thought that, uh, I had a, uh, chance with her."

"Well, umm," Joey cleared his throat, "That's great, I guess."

"You don't believe me?"

"No, no, I believe you."

"So, you don't believe _her_?"

Joey looked down sadly. "No."

"But…she could be telling the truth! I mean am I that ugly?!"

"No, it's not that. It's just – she isn't the type to settle –"

"Oh, don't start giving me that!"

"Look, Chandler, I know for a _fact _that she leaves guys after one night! She'd probably just use you, like she uses everyone else."

"That's not true!"

"Oh yeah?! Then why did she leave me?!" 

Chandler opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it quickly. He sat back, dumbfounded. "Wha – what?"

Joey sighed. "Look, I didn't wanna tell you, but…"

"But what?!"

"I, uh, I might have slept with Monica."

"You might have?"

"Well, no, I did."

Chandler mouthed wordlessly.

"Look, Chandler, before you get all upset – it didn't mean anything! It didn't mean anything to me, and it sure as hell didn't mean anything to her!"

"What do you mean?"

"You know how I'm always walkin' out on women before breakfast?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, uh, apparently, she was a step ahead of me. I woke up at 6 AM and she was already gone!"

"When…when was this?"

Joey bit his lip. "The second week."

"You knew I liked her…but you slept with her anyway?!"

"Look, I mean…we weren't that close…yet."

"I can't believe this."

"Chandler, it didn't mean anything…"  
He laughed sardonically. "Well, you brought it up, didn't you?!"

"I didn't bring it up because I have feelings for her! I brought it up because…because I'm ashamed…"

"What?"

"I'm ashamed that a woman walked out on me okay? I mean that was what I always did. It hurts, Chandler. It hurts a lot. Even though I don't really care about _her_. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Good enough for her, good enough for anyone. I'm just trying to save you from that! …Just like Rachel was trying to do."

Chandler looked down at his feet. 

"Talk to her?"

Chandler knocked timidly on the trailer door, with Joey following close behind. He waited nervously as he heard some shuffling from inside and then saw the door slowly open. He shrugged and half smiled. Rachel stepped back and let him inside. Slowly, he looked around the small room. He hadn't been inside Rachel's trailer before. It was unkempt, but homey, nonetheless. It comforted him, somehow. 

"I'm sorry about –"

"No," Rachel interrupted, "I'm sorry for being so blunt. I – I didn't mean that."

Chandler shook his head sadly. "Yes you did."

"I – "

"It's okay, really. I know you're just trying to keep me from getting hurt."

"Yeah, I – I really am."

Chandler nodded. "Thanks. And I'm sorry about overreacting. I tend to do that, from time to time."

Rachel smiled. "Of course, we all do – especially me."

He chuckled. 

"But I mean I want you to know that I care about you. A lot. I didn't mean to say something that would make you think otherwise. You're a really good guy, and I don't want to see you get hurt. I've seen a lot of men get their hearts broken. Hell, I've even broken a few hearts back in the day…"

Joey laughed. "Only a few?"

"Oh, you should talk."

Joey's smile quickly turned into a frown. "Yeah…"

Rachel shook her head and turned back to Chandler. "I've had my heart broken myself. It's part of living. I guess I shouldn't have said anything and should have let you live for yourself."

Chandler nodded. "It's okay."

Rachel smiled at him, before capturing him in a tight hug. He kissed her forehead and smiled down at her, before breaking apart. 

"I've only known you for a few months, but somehow you've managed to wheedle your way in there, Chan. Maybe it's the stupid humor."

Chandler mocked insult. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

Rachel punched him lightly on the arm. "So, you do whatever you want okay? Joey and I will _both _be behind you one hundred percent."

Chandler nodded and whispered, "It'll go away. It's just a silly crush, anyway."

Rachel smiled and Joey let out a sigh of relief. Rachel hugged him once more and he smiled reassuringly. 

However, even though he could pretend to not care about Monica on the outside, inwardly, he had caved long ago. She had captured his heart. He knew it was only a matter a time before he gave in all together.

**_A/N: _**_OMG I'm so happy! I passed on my first time and everything! *squeals some more* Okay, I'll stop. Please leave me a review, (and try not to spoil my happiness) thanks! _


	7. Dream of Keeping Hold of

**_Easy Lover_**_ – __Dream of keeping hold of_

**_A/N: _**_Yay, okay, I'm supposed to be random in here! *bounce* I'm not sure what to say though. =/ Um, yeah, I keep forgetting to point out that you're only seeing Chandler's POV in this fanfic at the moment. More things will be explained as the fic progresses. Hopefully, you'll trust me and stick with it. *shrug* Anyway, I must stop talking so I can get back to my 'happy birthday' smilie husband! Happy birthday! Please read and review, thank you! :)_

**_Disclaimer: _**_I had a dream that I owned the characters in this fic. Then, I woke up and realized that…I don't. Wow, that was a good story, wasn't it?_

Chandler smiled as he walked down the corridor. It was the beginning of the day and he was happy, for a change. And why shouldn't he be? After all, he was finally acting in a movie that had great potential. Perhaps, after this movie, his career as an actor would take off. Maybe then Monica would do more than just _consider_ dating him. Still, for now, that was enough. The fact she had said those few words still made his mind spin, even two weeks later. Her words should not have weighted so much in his mind, but he couldn't help the excitement he felt when he thought back upon them. He had been living the past few months trying to get her to notice him. Now she did! 

When he entered the studio, Chandler noticed Joey standing in the corner, staring at a group of technical staffers gathered on the other side of the room. Chandler approached Joey, but he just nodded hello and turned away. Chandler raised his eyebrows. 

"What are you looking at?" 

"Nothing," he answered distractedly. 

"Uh, okay."

Chandler studied him for a few moments, and watched as Joey's eyes followed the blonde haired woman who had strayed from the group.

"Are you staring at Phoebe?"

Joey looked up, startled. "No! Definitely not."

Chandler gave him an unconvinced look.

"Ok," he looked down sheepishly, "Maybe I am."

"Oh yeah, she's hot."

"Uh huh…very."

"So? You're Joey. Why don't you ask her?"

"Well, first thing, she's the producer. If I break her heart, I could get the ultimate ass-kicking."

"True…"

"And second, well, I already asked."

"And…"

"And," Joey looked away and mumbled, "She said no."

"What? I thought I heard you say 'she said no'."

"Dude, not so loud!"

"Are you…are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious! Why would I joke about something like this?!"

"I don't know. Did she tell you why she said no?"

"She said it would be weird." Joey shook his head, "I'll work on her, though."

Joey began to walk towards Phoebe, when Chandler called to him. 

"Wait! What about getting your ass kicked if you dump her?"

Joey turned around. "I just won't dump her."

Chandler was taken aback by Joey's words. Was this the same Joey who, just a few weeks ago, had informed Chandler that he had never been in a relationship that lasted longer than a month? Was he serious?

Chandler didn't have long to contemplate that, though. The room was filling up quickly. The first phase of the movie was slowly drawing to a close. Soon they would begin filming. Things were getting stricter. However, Chandler embraced every opportunity. Each time the director told him to redo a scene, he complied without complaint. It was so amazing to be doing what he loved, for a change. For all the pain and suffering he had endured in the past, and was sure he would be subjected to in the future, the feeling of satisfaction this movie gave him felt like his life's reward. 

When the work for the day was finished, Chandler stood next to Rachel, sipping from a water bottle. Chandler watched as Joey approached Phoebe and began to immediately flirt with her. He wanted to laugh at Joey's failure to seduce this woman. He knew it was terrible to think of his friend's situation in this way, but it was satisfying to see the 'ladies man' unable to win over this extremely independent woman. 

"Come on, Chandler," Rachel urged, tugging on his shirtsleeve and leaving him no room to argue."

Rachel led him over to the corner where Joey and Phoebe were congregated. Chandler was mildly surprised to see Phoebe flirt back. 

"Hey Joey!" Rachel called.

Chandler could have sworn he heard Joey curse on his breath. "Hey Rach. Chandler..."

Chandler bit his lip and shrugged. 

Rachel smiled at Phoebe. "Hi Phoebe."

"Hey Rachel. Long day today?"

"Of course," Rachel smiled. "Well, how about we all go out and get some drinks tonight?"

"Oh, that sounds great. I could sure use a break!"

Chandler attempted to escape, as the two women engaged in conversation, but stopped when he saw Ross staring at the group. Chandler pretended not to see, but, out of the corner of his eye, struggled to look at Ross. Slowly and nervously, Ross approached the small group.

"Hey, um, Phoebe," he began, "Did you get those shoots set yet?"

"Yup, everything's all set."

"Okay, great. Thanks."

Ross turned away, but before he could leave, Phoebe tapped his shoulder.

"Ross, we're all going out for some drinks tonight. Would you like to come with?"

"Uh, well," he looked around at the rest of the group, whom, after a moment, began to nod their heads in agreement, "Sure!"

"Great."

"Look, uh," he snuck a glance behind him, where Monica was reading over the script, "Do you think Monica could come along."

The others looked reluctant to agree, but Chandler immediately answered, "Sure!"

"Great, thanks. I'm just gonna wrap up here and then I'll be set."

"Okay," Phoebe agreed, "Great."

Once Ross walked away from the group, Joey and Rachel shot Chandler scolding looks. He smiled innocently in return.

"Don't worry about it," Phoebe assured them, "She won't be much of a downer. She might sit in the corner for a while without doing much of anything, but by the end of the night, I'm sure she'll go home with one of the waiters."

"Really?" Rachel asked.

Chandler felt insulted by her words. Maybe Monica was a bit standoffish, but Phoebe didn't have to spread rumors about her! He remembered how, the first time they spoke in the warehouse, she had jumped at the thought of rumors spreading. She obviously was forced to deal with that a lot. He ignored the voice in his head that told him they were true.

"Well, a lot of the time, rumors aren't true. This time, they are."

"How do you know that?!" Chandler shot back.

She shrugged, oblivious to his anger. "I'm friends with Ross. He tells me a lot."

"Yeah?" Rachel asked anxiously, "What else did he tell me?"

"That you're a gossip," Phoebe joked, "He also said that he thought you were pretty." 

Rachel blushed, "Really?"

"Of course! I don't lie…anymore."

"What else did he s –"

She stopped talking when she saw Ross returning to the group. Chandler noticed Monica a few paces behind her brother and felt his heart rate speed up. 

"You ready?" Joey asked the group.

"Yup!" Rachel and Phoebe answered simultaneously.

"Great. Let's get out of here!"

The group, minus Monica, sat at a table in the dimly lit nightclub. They chatted lightly as they waited for the waiter to take their drink orders. After he came, however, Phoebe directed her attention to a few tables behind them. Monica was sitting there, alone, stirring a straw in a glass of water.

"What's with her?"

Ross sighed. "I don't know. She's gotten a little…closed off. Don't get me wrong. She's a great person. She just can't," he paused, searching for the right word, "Doesn't make an effort to befriend people anymore. I try to get her to go out more, but it's not often that she agrees. I was surprised she said yes about tonight. She didn't used to be like that…"

The conversation again turned to another topic. However, Chandler continued to sneak looks at her. When he was around her, she seemed like such a warm person. However, what everyone else said was the opposite. 

As the rest of the group got up to start dancing, Chandler stayed back. He watched Monica carefully. She looked lonely. Remembering the night she had taken care of him when he had been drunk, he cautiously advanced towards her. She looked up at him, and said hello, before looking down at her glass once more. He sat down across from her. 

"I'm drinking a soda today," he informed her, "I don't want a repeat of last time I went out for drinks."

She chuckled. 

"You look bored."

"No, I'm fine."

"Why don't you come dance?"

"No, that's okay. I'm not in the mood."

"Well, if you…don't mind me asking, why did you agree to come tonight?"

"I was tired of my brother bitching at me about never going out with, uh, friends."

"Oh. I see. Yeah, my friends get like that, too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. But I wasn't kidding before when I said they were really great."

"I'm sure they are."

Chandler studied her closer. "Are you sure you're okay? You look upset about something?"

She shrugged. "It's been a hard year."

"I can imagine. Want to talk about it?"

Monica's eyes were still on her glass of water. "Not really."

"Okay… but if you don't want to talk, then you have to dance with me."

"No way."

Chandler mocked insult. "Why not?! Am I that hideous?"

She laughed and finally looked at him. "I told you, I'm just not in the mood."

He was determined to get her up to dance. He could tell she wanted to, but was being too stubborn to give in.

"Come on. I won't give up till you dance."

"No way."

"Please."

"No, Chandler."

He tugged at her arm and gave her a sad, puppy-dog look. She laughed and looked away. 

"One dance."

"N –"

"Pleeeaaassse."

She laughed. "Okay, okay. If it means that much to you."

He brought her to her feet. "It does, it really does." 

They went on the dance floor and picked a less crowded spot in the far corner and began to dance. Monica burst out laughing.

"What?!"

"You can_not_ dance."

"Thanks a lot."

She hit his chest lightly. "No, don't worry about it. It's funny."

He stopped dancing. "Way to make me self-conscious."

Monica giggled. "Don't stop! I was just kidding."

"No you weren't."

"No, I wasn't. But come on. You're the one who made me go dance! Now dance!"

He smiled and slowly began to move again. 

"That's better."

"Thank you."

Monica seemed to be talking to him even more than she normally did. Momentarily, he wondered how much he could get out her that night. A friendship? More? However, as he watched her laugh and tuck a strand of dark hair behind her ear, he knew he couldn't think about that. It would just make him nervous. He wanted to make as much of this night as he possibly could, without screwing it up, like he usually did.

A few dances later, a slow song came over the loudspeakers. Chandler smiled sheepishly and shrugged. She smiled back and slowly they began o dance. At first, they stood a bit away from each other without speaking, feeling slightly awkward. However, after a minute, Monica moved closer to Chandler and he began to talk again.  

"So, what are you doing this weekend?"

"Uh, working."

He blushed. "Right. Me too."

She chuckled. 

"You know, you're really beautiful."

The words came out so suddenly, he wasn't even aware he was saying them until they had already come out. He half expected her to slap him. However, she smiled and even blushed slightly. 

"Thanks."

He felt her move closer to him. Now, he was close enough that he could smell the scent of her shampoo. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, Monica was staring up into his eyes. He looked back. That was the first time they had made true eye contact. He was in awe. For a split second, he could see an ocean in her blue eyes. Was the famous Monica Geller really lost, just like him?

"Thanks for making me dance with you," she whispered.

"Thanks for dancing _with _me. I finally don't look like a pathetic loser, dancing alone."

He expected her to laugh, but she just mumbled, "You're not a pathetic loser," into his shirt.

Chandler bit his lip. She looked up at him again. Her face was calm. She moved in closer to him. Their bodies were touching now; noses merely centimeters apart. He could feel his heart thumping loudly in his chest, against the bass of the club music. Simultaneously, they moved even closer. Before Chandler could register what was going on, her lips were pressed against his. He put his hands on her face and the kiss intensified.

All too soon, the song ended. Monica jumped away from him, upon noticing Rachel, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross gaping at them. She took in a shaky breath, before walking swiftly off the dance floor. 

**_A/N: _**_Okay, so I guess I'm gonna start pimping my new site *nervous*. Okay, it's not perfect yet… the fanfiction script I used has quite a few bugs. However, I hope you'll stick with us and join. It's called **Mondlerifics** and it's a Chandler and Monica fanfiction archive. I co-own it with Monnie (penname: Monnie Geller). Mondlerifics.slip-away.net is the url (for a link, you can check out my bio) Yeah, please submit your fics. Woot! Okay, I'm done the pimpage. I would surely appreciate some reviews, if you want to, thanks! :)_


	8. You'd Better Forget it

**_Easy Lover_**_ - You'd better forget it_

**_A/N: _**_Okay, I got gas at 3 and now it's 9:45 and my hands **still **smell like gas. I swear I've washed them like 20 times! Gah, that's annoying. Oh well. *sigh* Things have been really hectic, so don't expect another post from me until at least a week from today (that's when my paper's due). This sucks. I want to write more, so badly! Heh. Shout-out to all the crazies in room #54 at FB! Woot! :D Haha, your loserness is showing (Where?! Where?!) Oh, no, wait, I meant epidermis. Bada ching. I have problems. _

**_Disclaimer: _**_I don't own these characters, but I do own Yen. I got her off of E-bay a long time ago now. I think our conversations are losing their touch though… _

_Yen: __can you spike milk?_

_Yen: __i think that would be really icky_

_Me: __what? like spiking a vollyball?_

_Yen: __LOL __nooo_

_Yen: __like, making it irish_

_Yen: __hahhah which is a term i love and use, making people stare at me weirdly_

_Me: do YOU spike milk?___

_Yen: __no!_

_Me: __b/c im a little worried right now_

_Yen: __i was wondering if it was possible_

_Me: __haha anything's possible_

_Yen: __guess so..._

_Me: __lol try it_

_Yen: __no alcohol in the house_

_Yen: __fun party-thrower *i* would be, huh?_

_Me: __yea guess not_

_Me: __come to my house_

_Me: __vodka everywhere_

_Yen: __lol!_

_Me: __in fact, im drunk right now_

_WTF? :p_

Chandler's eyes followed Monica retreating figure, until she disappeared from the room. Then, he slowly looked back at the four pairs of curious eyes.

"Dude," Joey praised, "You got her!"

Rachel nudged Joey in the ribs. "Chandler?"

"What?"

"How – I mean are you…?"

"I'm nothing," he mumbled, "Will you excuse me?"

With that, he turned around and ran from the group, in the same direction as Monica.

Chandler's heart was pounding madly. What had happened between them? Maybe it wasn't anything at all. It could have just been a kiss and nothing more. Yet, he couldn't help but wonder if she felt something for him, deep within her heart, for him, as well. Maybe she was just hiding her feelings from him for the same reason he was hiding his – she was afraid of rejection. _It's not like she has anything to fear,_ he mumbled to himself, as he searched every area he could find. He would give up anything for her. He wished he could tell her that. 

Finally, just as he was about to give up, he spotted the back of Monica's head. She was on the balcony, eyes cast down to the ground below. Her elbows were resting on the railing, resembling a sad stance. He slowly approached her, and, at the beginning, just stood next to her. He stared at her. She didn't notice him. He cleared his throat. Monica's head popped up, eyes darting. When she realized it was Chandler, however, she calmed down a bit. 

"I'm sorry, Monica."

"Don't be sorry," she whispered. 

He stared at her. Wasn't she mad at him? What kind of response was that?

"Well, I just…I don't want you to hate me."

"Why would I hate you?"

"Well, when you ran out of the room, I was _kinda _under the impression that you…didn't want to do what we, um, did."

She looked away. "It's not that I _didn't _want to. I just realized how stupid I was being. Anyone could've seen us, Chandler! Do you even _know _what that could start?!"

He looked down, "Yeah."

He knew what she was saying. People would think she was in a relationship with him. But she didn't want that.

"Look, Chandler, don't take this personally, okay? I just don't want to give people reasons to start rumors. I'm gonna date someone, then that's not the way I want people to find out. And if they think I'm not dating you and I'm just making out with you, then everyone thinks I'm whore," she paused, "Which they kinda already do…"

Chandler chuckled. "I understand."

"You do? You promise you do?"

"I promise."

"Thanks, Chandler." 

Monica leaned over and hugged him tightly. He held her, resting his head on her shoulder. They pulled apart and Chandler looked into her eyes. He found himself lost in her beauty. He regained composure and blushed when he noticed Monica was looking back at him. He found himself doing that more than he liked to admit.

"Wanna go back inside?"

She thought for a moment. "No. I kinda like it out here."

"Okay, well, I'll see ya…"

He turned around to get back inside, but turned back when he heard Monica call, "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't go inside yet. I mean if you want to, you can, but I could use some company."

He smiled. "I guess some fresh air couldn't do any harm."

She grinned back at him. Chandler led Monica to a bench and they both sat down. 

"You see that guy," Monica pointed to a teenager, "I give one more minute before he throws up."

Chandler laughed. "He's like…12!"

Sure enough, the boy started to cough, and the two of them turned away, disgusted. 

"That was me, at his age."

"Really?"

"Sad, isn't it?"

"A little."

"I try not to get that drunk, anymore. I tend to do stupid things."

She laughed in response. "So, I've noticed."

"Right…" he cleared his throat uncomfortably, "I forgot about that part."

"People always expect me to go out and get drunk," Monica stated.

"Really? Why would you say that?"

"I'm famous. There are a lot of lies attached to my title."

"That's true."

"It's just…it's really annoying. You can't trust anyone."

"Well, how can you not trust _anyone_ in your life?"

She shrugged. "I guess I trust Ross, a bit. I just stay away from everyone."

"So, that's why you're like that."

She looked away.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, it just slipped."

"No, it's okay. It's the truth."

"But it doesn't have to be!"

"I know… it's just hard for me to let someone in."

"Yeah, I – I actually understand how you feel. It's hard for me to let people in, too."

She looked into his eyes questioningly, "But you can do it?"

He nodded. 

Their eyes locked for what felt like an eternity. Suddenly, snapping out of the daze, Chandler looked down at his watch.

"Wow, it's already midnight." 

"Really? I should really find Ross and get going."

"Well, you know, I could give you a ride, if you want…"

"No, it's okay, really. If I could just pry him away from Rachel, then it'll all be fine…"

He laughed. "Well, are you sure? Because it won't be a problem."

"I…" she looked down for a moment, "Okay."

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at Monica's house. Chandler stared at it in awe. It was small! It didn't seem at all like a movie star's mansion. Monica noticed his look and shifted uncomfortably. 

"Thanks for driving me home."

"I was only repaying the favor."

"Well," she smiled, "Thanks just the same."

"I really had fun tonight."

"Yeah, me too."

"I'm sorry about –"

"Don't be. We all get carried away in the moment…sometimes…"

"Yeah," he agreed quietly, "We do."

"It really was a great night, though. Thanks for being there…for being a friend."

"A friend, yeah. Thanks to you, too."

"Well, I'll…I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yup, tomorrow."

"Bye."

"Bye," he whispered. 

Chandler turned around and began walking away slowly. Suddenly, Monica ran up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. Chandler turned around and looked her in the eyes. 

"I could really use some company," she whispered.

His eyes searched hers frantically for any sign of jest. He found none. 

"Well, I might be able to help…"

And, before he was able to say or do anything else, he felt her lips upon his once more. 

The morning light shone through the blinds. Chandler stirred, still too tired to open his eyes. Remembering what happened the night before, Chandler turned on his side. The spot on the bed next to him was cold. His eyes shot open instantly. She was gone. 

**_A/N: _**_Zzzz… well, I hope you're not sleeping right now, like me… and Yen apparently *pokes Yen* Please leave me a review, thanks! :)_


	9. Present

**_Easy Lover_**_ - Present_

**_A/N: _**_Okay, my research paper is finally done! Wheee! The problem for this fic was that I had to actually sit down and **write more**, which I wasn't able to do until today. I actually have homework, but meh. I figure there's no reason to study Physics. After all, when I grow up, I want to be a bum on the street. *shakes head* Bums don't use Physics! ;) _

**_Disclaimer: _**_I don't own the characters in this fic. Oh and sorry to Gellershorty101 and whoever else enjoys my 'Yen Conversations' more than this fic, LOL, but Yen is not on so I have no conversation. :'( *hugs Yen* Don't study too hard, babe. Your tiny brain won't be able to take it. J/k, j/k! Pants ya! :D _

Chandler paces around his living room. He feels so angry with himself for ever giving into her. He knows it's his own fault though. He knew it all and chose to ignore it all, just the same. It was easier to blame someone else, though. He hates the memory of her. Still, whenever he closes his eyes, he sees her face, feels her skin, smells her shampoo…he doesn't sleep much anymore. 

He turns on the television. It's the news. He doesn't want to hear about the world. He changes the channels. He sees a familiar face and stops. It's a celebrity talk show. It's Monica next to the host. He feels his chest contort. Still, he watches. She smiles easily and laughs at the host's jokes. She answers his questions with fox-like ease. She tucks a wisp of hair behind her ear, in the same way that always drives Chandler crazy. 

"So," the host begins, "We've heard the rumors. We all want to know _the truth_. Are you, or are you not, dating your co-star, Chandler Bing?"

"Me? Dating Chandler?" she laughs, "No, of course not. He's just a really good friend."

The audience cheers in approval.

"Way to disappoint the audience."

Monica laughs again. "Yup, sorry guys."

Chandler cringes. She seems so fake. Why can she be happy, like this, for the audience, but not for her own co-stars? Well, besides for him. But still - had she just been pretending all along? Maybe he had never truly gotten to her, after all. Maybe that's why it was so easy for her to break his heart.

"So, you're not dating anyone?"

"Nope."

"Aww, that's hard to believe!"

"Thanks. But, no, I like it this way."

"Well, the single life _is _nice, if you catch my drift…?"

Monica chuckles. "That's not what I mean! I just feel a lot better on my own. I can work as much as I need to, I can rest as much as I need to… I don't get much time to myself, ya know?"

"So, you can't see yourself ever dating anyone?"

"Oh, no, of course I will! I'm just waiting for the right guy, and the right opportunity…"

"She's bluffing," Chandler mumbles to himself before walking over to the television and shutting it off. Then, he takes the remote that he has broken a few hours before, and throws it in the over-flowing garbage can. He never leaves his home, anymore. He can't even remember the last time he took out the trash. It could have been last week; it could have been last year. Time has blurred.

Chandler looks over at the unplugged telephone. He's glad it's unplugged. He doesn't want to deal with anyone harassing him today. He just wants to be alone with his thoughts. He wants to waste his life away. For so long, Chandler had thought acting had been the right career choice for him, even though it was so difficult. However, he now sees how wrong he was. He isn't cut out for the acting business. He can deal with the rejection of himself as an actor, but he can't deal with the rejection of himself as a person. Acting and having his heart broken now come hand-in-hand for Chandler. There is no way to convince him otherwise. 

He's wearing his pajamas. He's been wearing the same pair for two weeks. He knows it's disgusting, but he doesn't care. After all, there's no one to impress anymore. Once the movie finished filming, he had fled the scene completely. Before that, he had shut himself off from everyone around him, including his friends. He acted, and he acted well, when he had to. That was all. His life was on autopilot. He didn't look at Monica when they weren't doing a scene together. She didn't seem to notice the difference. 

Suddenly, there is a knock at the door. Chandler sighs and goes to answer it, hoping it's the pizza deliveryman. He doesn't want to eat, but his body's hungry. He has lost a lot of weight lately. Slowly, Chandler makes his way to the door. He doesn't bother straightening his hair or doing anything else to better his disheveled appearance. It doesn't matter anymore, anyway. 

Chandler opens the door, expecting to see someone standing there with a pizza, but instead, finding more than he bargained for. He shuts the door hurriedly. He locks it and sits back down on the couch. He then lays his face on a cushion, willing it all to leave again; willing the stinging past to leave him with just the burning memories. 

There's loud knocking on the door. "Chandler! Chandler, open up! Come on, Chandler!"

He doesn't move a muscle. 

"Chandler, stop being such a damn baby and open this fucking door!"

He remains still.

"Look," the voice called through the door, "If this is about _us, _then you should just –"

Chandler runs over to the door and opens it. "What makes you think this is about _us_?!"

His eyes are hard, boring into her. She feels nervous. He looks so angry. She's never seen this side of him before. 

"I – I mean since you'd been all weird ever since we…ya know…"

Chandler tries not to show his surprise. So she had noticed? _Still, that doesn't change anything_, he reminds himself, _she still hurt you. You just can't let her know it._

Monica tries to grab his hand, but he moves away. She's still wondering if it's about them. "What's wrong? Do you wanna talk?"

"You ask me to talk _now_? Not when we were on the set, no. There are more important things there, right?"

"No, it's just –"

"You want me to come back, don't you? You want me to go to all these stupid fake publicity rounds and pretend to be happy, like you do, don't you?"

"No, that's not –"

"Look, Monica, I'm not coming back."

Monica glares at him. He's not even giving her the chance to explain! She really wants him to come back. She misses him. But he won't let her say it. 

"Chandler, just stop being such a baby and come back!" she screams.

For a fleeting moment, they lock angry eyes. She doesn't know if she can hold out.

"Fine, I'll come back," he whispers harshly. He doesn't want to seem weak.

"Thank you!" she cries, throwing her arms around him. 

Nervously, he puts his arms around her, as well. He loves the way she feels in his arms. He breathes in the familiar scent of her shampoo. He closes his eyes and tries to ignore the voice that's screaming at him from the inside. 

Monica tightens her grip around Chandler. She has missed him so much. He was always so sweet – giving her a chance as a person, while everyone else just wrote her off as conceded. She doesn't allow herself to analyze the situation any further, though. He's coming back. He's okay. She didn't hurt him. He said it wasn't about her. No, it wasn't her. She didn't do anything. _I didn't do anything, _she half-heartedly repeats, in her head. She didn't ruin things between them. 

Monica is so happy, she feels as if she could cry. She misses him. She misses his friendship. That's all, though. After all, she's Monica Geller. She doesn't need anyone. People need her, but she doesn't need them. She pulls away, smiles, and nods at him. Yeah, she doesn't need him. But that still doesn't explain why, every time she sees him, her stomach flutters and her heart skips a beat. 

  
  


**_A/N: _**_BTW,I **am **aware that I have switched tenses. :p Hopefully, you're not confused. Personally, I don't see what's confusing about it, but what do I know? It all makes sense to me. I mean I know how this thing's gonna end. :p All right, please leave me a review. Don't be too harsh. =-x Thanks for reading!_


	10. You'll Never Get it

**_Easy Lover_**_ – You'll never get it_

**_A/N: _**_Sorry, for the delay. Things have been kind of hectic before, and therefore, I haven't felt like writing. I realize some of you are confused and I'm sorry. I should have explained more things in the last a/n, but I'm bad at explaining things (which is why I was a math tutor for 2 years, eh?). So, yes, I switched tenses (haha Yen, I WAS aware, lol)…I've been planning on doing this the whole time. That's why the prologue is in **present tense**. However, after talking to David (aka Dupton, aka Waffle) I realize I should have named that chapter **Present** as well. I have done that now. The first chapter connects to the rest. It is the present. Chapters 2-9 reflect upon the events that have occurred **up until that point**. The rest of the fanfic will deal with the present as it unfolds more. I hope makes more sense. If you're still confused, ask me specific questions in your reviews, will ya? Thanks. :)_

**_Disclaimer: _**_Well, I haven't talked to Yen in 2 days, since we've both been pretty busy with homework, but I was reading through an old conversation I saved from over the summer…so, as to keep with the current trend in my disclaimers, I don't own the characters in this fanfic, but I do own this conversation:_

**_Becca_**_: __my eye hurts___

**_Yen_**_: __just one eye?_**__**

**_Yen_**_: __singular?_**__**

**_Becca_**_: __well they're both kinda dry___

**_Becca_**_: __from staring w/o blinking___

**_Yen_**_: __*starts to kiss eye and realizes that's gross*_****

Chandler straightens a crease from his khakis, as he runs through the doors. He is late. In his defense, it is not his fault – the publicists had to brief him in. The sounds backstage make him nervous. He can hear the crowd cheering. It feels as if it has been forever since Chandler has last interacted with the world around him. He looks at his reflection in a dark monitor on the side. It isn't so bad – his face is just a tad pale from lack of proper nourishment. 

His friends probably do not know that he has returned. Well, Monica knows, but he highly doubts that she has told the rest of the cast. Maybe he has changed in the past few months, but he is sure Monica has not. He shakes his head in disgust. He realizes he hasn't really changed, either, though. He is still in love and he is still in pain. Although what's the difference between the two, anyway? Lately, it seems that love comes hand-in-hand with disappointment. 

Suddenly, there's a tremendous wave of screams and clapping from the audience. He turns to see those familiar faces approaching quickly. They have yet to notice him, standing on the side. He holds his breath. That's silly, though. There isn't enough time for them to get angry with him, before approaching the stage. Joey is the first to notice – stopping like a deer in headlights. Chandler tips his head shamefully. Rachel notices Chandler standing there a few seconds later. She sighs and grabs Joey's hand. The two of them study each other for a moment. Chandler looks back, nervously. It is as if some sort of un-verbalized agreement passes through the two. Before he can comprehend, Rachel has her arms tightly locked around his neck. She kisses his cheek and smiles. He smiles back at her. She releases him and Joey walks over, punches him lightly on the arm, and whispers, "You're late." 

Right then and there, all the guilt Chandler had neglected to feel while he pitied himself rushes to the surface. After all that he had put them through – the worrying, the waiting, the anger – they take him back unquestioningly. He is unable to comprehend their ability to do this. After all, he is angry with himself for what _he _did to _them._ Still, the two of them continue to smile at him, and so he smiles back. However, inwardly, he is fighting against the tears that are threatening to fall. How could he have been such a terrible friend? 

"You're on now!" the stage manager hisses. 

They line up, waiting to go out. The man motions to Monica, who, in the shadows, has remained unnoticed by the rest. She nods and heads to the front. She takes in a deep breath. She has done this a million times before; she has never done it with other people, though. They would be stealing her spotlight. Not all the questions would be directed at her, for a change. Oddly enough, she is fine with this. Even more so, she feels relieved. For so long, she has craved to hide in the shadows of her public life, like she already does in her private.

Slowly, the group makes their way out onto the brightly lit stage. The sound decibel of the crowd's cheers rise immeasurably. The group waves to the audience, as they watch the crowd, standing on their feet. Rachel and Joey are exhilarated by the screams. Monica is causal, and unfazed. Chandler, however, is completely enthralled with the screaming audience. He stares at them with wandering eyes. He wants to try to get a look at every single person out there. 

Something is tugging at his heart. He feels an automatic connection to the audience in a way that he has never felt before. The crowd is in love with them! Chandler is in awe. They love people that they don't actually know! He blinks. The similarity is uncanny. A wave of understanding washes over him. He is, in actuality, the audience in Monica's life. He therefore wants to run up and down the aisles and tell each individual person how much they mean to him. However, instead, he follows the rest of the gang, as they make their way to the guest's couch. 

As expected, Monica sits in the spot closet to the interviewer. She is, after all, the most famous one. No one else minds, though. The rest are, in different ways, completely mesmerized by the audience in front of them. They want time to get used to it all, before they begin to talk. Prior to this interview, Monica has done the majority of the television interviews, making this a new experience for the rest. After all, there are no screaming fans in a magazine editor's office. 

Chandler is sitting farthest from the interviewer. He feels Rachel's hand rubbing his knee excitedly. He turns and smiles at her. The excitement she feels is contagious, leaving Chandler with the inability to wipe a childish grin of his face.

"So," the interviewer turns to face them, "Your movie premiered this past Friday?"

"That's right," Monica answers.

"It's the number one box office hit! No one was expecting that. After all, it's just another dramatic romance movie."

"Well," Monica smiles and looks at the others, "I guess we brought something to the table that no one else has."

"In deed you have," he responds, looking down at his cards, "It says here that the critics are raving about the chemistry between all of you; especially Monica Geller and Chandler Bing."

All attention turns to Chandler. He smiles sheepishly and salutes the audience. They clap.

"So," the interviewer turns to Chandler, "Monica has said there's nothing going on between the two of you – is this true?"

Chandler smiles mischievously. Monica's breath is caught in her throat. Rachel and Joey stare at Chandler, hoping he will not do anything he will later regret.

"Unfortunately, it is," he sighs dramatically, "I'm just too famous for her."

The crowd laughs. Joey laughs. Rachel lets out a nervous breath and chuckles softly. Monica forces a smile onto her face. 

"So, Chandler," the man continues, "We haven't heard much from you lately. Actually, we haven't heard _anything_ from you, at all. What is up with that?"

Chandler shrugs. The words of his publicist run through his head. He has to tell the truth, which in actuality, is a lie. It is the truth, though – to everyone else. The problem is that he has been lying all along.

"I was a little overwhelmed by the fast pace of Hollywood. I needed some time to regroup, before I realized…what it really was that I was missing out on by hiding."

A collective "aww" emerges from the audience. They love to hear the truth; it makes him feel even guiltier. He isn't just lying to himself now; he is lying to the world. 

The interview has ended, and Chandler walks to the exit. He stops, however, when Rachel grabs his shoulder. Chandler turns around and smiles sadly at her. The guilt wells up inside him again – it is now dangerously close to the surface. 

"I'm sorry – I wish I could explain it better, but I had to get away…for a while."

Again, she reaches up and hugs him, although, this time, it is a little less rushed and a little less surprising than the last. He buries his head on her shoulder and she strokes his hair, like a mother to a child. 

"It's okay. It doesn't matter, anymore. You're back." 

"Thank you, Rachel," he mumbles into her shoulder.

They break apart. 

"You were great today. The audience loved you."

Chandler smiles, "Really?"

"Really. I nearly went deaf each time they laughed at your jokes!"

"I was going for that."

"It's good to have the old Chandler back."

He sighs, "Yeah…"

Rachel cocks her head to the side, "He's not completely back, is he?"

Chandler shakes his head. All the pain he has endured, all the pain he has inflicted upon others, rushes into him with the high tide. His body convulses and he lets out a stifled sob. Rachel immediately notices and runs to his side. As soon as the tears begin to fall, her arms wrap around him for the third time. 

Chandler cannot remember the last time he allowed someone to see him cry. He wonders why he is not ashamed of his tears. However, he tightens his grip on Rachel as he lets out all the anguish he has ever felt, upon her shoulder. 

The evening is breaking in now. The sky is painted purple, orange, and pink. Monica stares at the sight before her, feeling her own tears gather, on the brink of falling. She yearns to be in Rachel's place, comforting Chandler. She closes her eyes and envisions the feel of his strong arms wrapped tightly around her. She takes in a deep breath, smelling his aftershave and cologne in the distance. She opens her eyes. The sun has set. A lone tear rolls down her cheek. She walks away. 

**_A/N: _**_Okay, well, this fic is approaching the finish line, so if you hate it…well, why are you reading this if you hate it?! I'm so proud of myself! I'm almost finished! I feel like I haven't finished a fic in forever! Man, it's dark in here. Maybe that's because it's 6:00 PM and I have no lights on… I'm so smart. ;) My eyes are starting to hurt. Please read and review. Thanks!****_


	11. She will Play Around and Leave You

**_Easy Lover_**_ - __She will play around and leave you_

**_A/N: _**_I'm so exhausted. I would sleep for days if I could ever fall asleep to begin with. :/ I've done so much math and physics this week that it's about ready to come out of my ears. The Physics paid off, because I finally got an A on a test in that impossible class, so at least something went well. Math…not so sure about. :/ There was no partial credit on the test! =-o My school's so messed up, though. The Valentines Day dance is tonight – a Thursday night. Now, obviously, I'm not going, but who would? It makes no sense. I can't go on a Thursday – it's Friends night. Plus, going to a school dance would get in the way of me showing no school spirit. :p Okay, I'll stop rambling. Thanks for all the great reviews. Please leave some more! (Yeah, I'm greedy like that.)_

**_Disclaimer: _**_Apparently, I don't own these characters. You have no idea how long it took me to spell "apparently". I know this is where I normally post a "Yen conversation" but since my stupid AIM stopped working, I lost my log manager that keeps all the conversations. Next time *sigh*. Pants ya, Yen!_

"So, this is really it," Chandler remarks, while looking around the room, "This is the end of…well, everything."

"Yeah," Rachel replies sadly, "It feels like just yesterday it was our first day…I can't believe it's really over."

"You know what I can't believe?" Joey asks.

"What?"

"That Rachel actually made me wear a tux!"

He loosens the tie around his neck, soliciting a slap on the arm from Rachel. She begins to fix his bowtie, and he tries to wriggle out of her grasp.

"Guys…" Chandler attempts.

Joey stops and whines, "See, I'm gonna miss this!" 

Before Chandler realizes it, he finds himself enveloped in a tight embrace from Joey. Smiling, he hugs Joey back, while Rachel joins them. He had not really considered the weight of this night before that moment. It marks, in essence, the end of the movie, although it technically ended as soon as the filming finished. They no longer see each other on a daily basis, nor do they spend late nights working together. Still, before tonight, nobody wanted to admit that it was, in fact, the end. They had formed a close friendship, and, while they were sure they would be able to preserve some aspects of the friendship, they knew that it would not be the same. Chandler appreciates the fact that they have become great friends, though. After all, they stuck by him, even after he abandoned them. 

Well, apparently, no one else views his absence as abandonment, but he does, nonetheless. The memory still aches in his heart. As the door to this part of his life slowly close, the pain does not decrease. _This is the last night,_ he tells himself, _It's a time to remember the good things, not the bad. _Yet, the bad things have a funny way of sneaking into the happiest of moments. 

As the three of them release each other from the hug, they all have tears in their eyes. Chandler is sure they are thinking the same thing. Is it really over? As he studies the faces of his friends, he decides it is not. After all they have done for him, he owes them this in return. No, it will not be the end. No matter what happens, he will not let it be. 

"So," Rachel begins, "What's there to do here?"

Joey looks around, "It's Ross' party. Do you really thing it's going to be fun? I mean, on the set, he wasn't exactly a fun person. Plus, I have to wear a tux!"

"Oh Joey, quit complaining!" she nags, "Look, there's Phoebe. I don't think she'll be impressed if you undress yourself!"

Joey shakes his head, "How do you _think _I get women?!"

"Eww, Joey!"

He laughs, while walking towards Phoebe, who is standing in the opposite side of the room. Chandler and Rachel watch him walk away, both smiling. Joey never fails to lift the awkwardness from a situation.

"So, do you think Phoebe's ever gonna go for Joey?"

Chandler studies the two of them as they talk, "Yeah, I think she will. When he puts his mind to something, Joey can be quite determined…especially, when it comes to women."

"That _is _true," Rachel pauses, "So, do you think everyone who worked on the movie's here?"

Chandler looks around, "Yeah, I…guess so."

"What about…Monica?" 

He notices Rachel biting her lip anxiously.

"You can bring her up, Rach. I'm not gonna jump down your throat or anything."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Chandler continues to search through the sea of faces, "Well, I don't see her. She was never much for big parties…"

Rachel frowns, "You're not over her, are you?"

Chandler looks down at his shoes, "No. But it's okay. I mean I don't want to get hurt anymore. My mind knows that…it's my heart that's still the stubborn one."

"That's usually the way it works."

"Yeah…"

"Do you, uh, want a drink?" Rachel persuades, "I was just thinking of going over to the bar…"

"No, it's all right. I think I'm gonna go out and get some fresh air."

She nods. They walk in opposite directions. 

Chandler lights a cigarette out on the balcony, steadily breathing in the smoke. He looks out upon the vast land of the hotel. Although it is dark, he can still make out the shadows of the trees against the moonlight, reflecting off of the small pond. His hair ruffles slightly in the light night breeze. He leans on the railing. The night is so beautiful. It's almost perfect, but something is missing. Chandler just cannot put his finger on what that something is. 

Suddenly, Chandler has the feeling that he is not alone. Upon seeing a figure out of the corner of his eye, he turns and faces her. He is not surprised. After all, finding an escape from people is something that she excels in. She nods at him and he all but ignores the skipping of a heartbeat at the sight of her dark hair sparkling in the moonlight. She looks back out into the night. He feels like he should say something to break the silence, but knows he should not, just the same. This situation feels all too familiar.

Monica sneaks glances at Chandler. Why is he standing out here, alone? Doesn't he have those friends of his – the ones that know how to be a friend, unlike herself? He seems pensive. It's as if he barely even notices the cigarette in his mouth. She wishes she could find out what he is thinking about. 

They haven't actually talked, aside for a few sporadic words, since she had come to his house a few weeks before. Perhaps, it is better this way. She takes a long look at him – an indulgence within itself. He hates her; she knows it. Even if he said that his disappearance was not due to her actions, she can't help but think that they are connected. She didn't consider that she was hurting him before, but once he left, she began to doubt that. However, since he said that it was not her fault…she should just believe that. Shouldn't she?

"So," Monica finally began, the silence making her feel uneasy, "What are you doing out here?"

He removes the cigarette from his mouth, "Getting some fresh air."

She nods, "Me too."

"Uh-huh."

"Look, Chandler…if you're upset because of me…"

"I'm not upset."

"You - you're not?"

"Nope."

"So, why haven't you been talking to me lately?"

"Why haven't _you _been talking to _me_ lately?"

"I – I…don't know. Because I thought you weren't talking to me?"

He shrugs, "Well, I guess we cleared that up, eh?"

"Yeah…"

Monica still feels uneasy, even now that the silence has been broken. His casualness seems forced, which is not something she is used to. "I'm really gonna miss working with you."

He turns to her, slightly shocked by her words, "Rea – really? Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm gonna miss working with you, too."

"Maybe for Ross' next movie…"

Chandler chuckles, "One can only hope."

Silence unfolds as the two of them redirect their attention towards the night. Chandler unwillingly notices how her skin seems to glow. The memories flood his mind, like the warm feel of her flesh beneath his fingers. Monica looks over towards him, and for a moment their eyes catch, shimmering.

"I think I'm gonna…head back for the night."

"I'll walk you to your hotel room," Chandler whispers, the warnings going off in his head like sirens. 

"Great, thanks."

They begin to walk through the hotel. In the elevator, Chandler merely stares at the lights as they switch off at each floor. Monica softly grasps his hand and chills run down his spine. When they arrive at her room, Chandler leans over to open the door, his breath dancing across her bare neck. Her heart skips a beat. 

"Well, I'll see you," Chandler whispers.  
"Yeah," she replies uneasily, "See…ya."

Chandler turns to leave.

"Unless, you want to come in."

He stares at her for a moment, feeling bombarded with the all-familiar desire. He nods his head slowly, knowing exactly what was coming next. Quickly, his lips find hers in a passionate kiss, as the two stumble into the room. He isn't going to fall for her trap again, though. 

It is still dark in the room, as Monica groggily opens her eyes. She stretches her arms slightly, in an attempt to wake up. Suddenly, she sits up, her body rigid in shock. The opposite side of the bed is cold and empty.

**_A/N: _**_Yeah, I know, how could Chandler be so blind as to get back into bed with her? I would justify it more, but if the next chapter doesn't' convince you, then I don't know what to say. I finished writing this fic last weekend. There are 3 chapters left, methinks…or maybe it's 4. I can't remember, nor can I bring myself to check. Please leave me a review…and some caffeine. Thanks. :)_


	12. Better Forget it

**_Easy Lover_**_ – __Better Forget it_

**_A/N: _**_The only thing I accomplished this week was watching more episodes of Friends than I've ever watched. Now, I have to make up for all the crap I missed from being absent from school for the past 2 days, including going in early for Physics help. BLAH. *is not in a particularly good mood* Thanks for the great reviews on the previous chapter! Please leave me a review and make me feel a little better. :) Thanks._

**_Disclaimer: _**_Mhmm, the characters are not mine. I would post something about Orlando Bloom and Elijah Wood, but I can't think of anything. Sorry Yen. Next time. :p_

Monica looks around the room hurriedly, willing her eyes to adjust to the early morning darkness. She is unable to comprehend anything. All of her thoughts blend together and she numbly rises from the bed, covering herself with a white robe. She tightens the sash as she walks around the room, head darting from side to side. She calls out desperately, __

"Ch – Chandler?" 

There is no answer. The only sound is her heart beating wildly in her chest. _He left. _The words repeat in her head, sadness welling up from deep within her. Why would he leave? How could he _leave_? In a last desperate attempt, she opens the door and walks into the hallway, intent on finding Chandler. However, after only turning the corner, she walks right into him. 

He is propped up on the beige hotel wall, wearing his wrinkled tuxedo from the night before. His hair is completely disheveled, and there are dark bags under his eyes. Monica stares at him; he stares back. Her breathing slows; there is a non-existent weight upon her chest. 

They stare at each other for a good minute. Monica is too shocked to say anything. Chandler, on the other hand, is too nervous to break the silence. He sees the hurt in her eyes. Although, a part of him is angry with her for not realizing that he had done back to her what she had done to him, he cannot help the pang of guilt that is tugging at his heart. He ignores it.

"Monica."

That simple act – the stating of her name – causes tears to fall from her eyes. He has broken the wall between the two of them, just by uttering that one word. He stands away from her, allowing the tears to flow freely from afar. His own tears are stinging the backs of his eyes, but he has already promised himself he will not cry. He is not sure how to react to her tears, though. He had not been expecting them. Has he even ever seen her cry before?

Monica cannot remove her eyes from the blue carpet, as the tears pour down her face. There have been so many times before when she felt like crying, yet she had been able to suppress those tears. However, now, they are uncontrollable. Monica continues to sob, completely oblivious to anything but the feeling of warm tears against her burning cheeks. 

Finally, Chandler slowly rises and approaches Monica. He studies her for a moment. Either she has yet to notice that he has moved, or she is merely ignoring him, but she does not acknowledge anything. He reaches out, his hand brushing a damp cheek. She looks up suddenly, eyes red and puffy from crying. They lock eyes, and he swallows the lump that has formed in his throat. He is afraid to say anything else. Before, by just saying her name, she had began to cry. If he said anything else, things could get even worse. Then again, nothing at all was happening during their silence. 

"I see your point," she says quietly.

"Wh – what?"

"Your point…it was to show me," she pauses and wipes her nose on the sleeve of her robe, "What I did to you."

"No, I mean…well, yeah."

She looks away.

"So," he moves closer, "How does it feel?"

"What kind of question is that? I just cried! How do you think it feels?!"

"It hurts…doesn't it?"

"Yes, okay?!" she looks him in the eyes, "Yes."

Chandler nods solemnly.

"Look, maybe you were trying to teach me a lesson or something, but what you did is worse! You slept with me just to teach me a lesson?! I'm so glad you got _so _much out of it."

"I didn't sleep with you to teach you a lesson."

"Yeah, right."

"I slept with you because I love you."

"What?"

Chandler looks away, "You heard me."

"You – you…what?!"

"Come on – it wasn't obvious?"

"No. I mean…I didn't know."

"Well," he scoffs his shoe, "Everyone else did."

"So that was why you went away…"

"I just need to know one thing, Monica. Why do you do it?"

"What?"

"Why do you walk out on guys? Why did you walk out on _me_? "

She sat down on floor, back resting on the wall, "I don't know."

"Bullshit."

"Fine," she pauses, "If I had stayed through the night, I would've woken up in your arms and I wouldn't have been able to ever leave. I didn't want to get attached. "

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a loner, okay? I'm supposed to be _single_; I'm supposed to be _tough_…falling in love leaves me vulnerable. I'm definitely not willing to be vulnerable." 

"Yeah, I see your point," he sighs heavily, "Then whatever. I never said anything, okay?"

Chandler turns to leave, but she grabs his wrist. "I'm not finished." He faces her, but her hand does not leave his.

"I don't know what you've done to me, Chandler. All I know is…I stay awake at night, thinking about you. I remember what it feels like," she pauses and takes a deep breath, "Every time you hug me. I want to ignore it…so badly, but I can't. I told myself I didn't need you. I pretended, when you left," she shrugs, "that it didn't matter. But it did. I felt so lonely. And I was always alone before you! But when you started to reach out to me…it was the most amazing feeling in the world. I didn't want to lose it."

"Sometimes, when I'm alone in my house, I imagine you're there. You just hold me, and kiss me, and tell me everything's going to be okay. You're the only one who would do that. You're one of the only in my life who cares. I don't want to lose that."

Chandler shuffles nervously in his spot. He is afraid that she is going to admit everything that he has been waiting so long to hear her say. He lets go of her hand.

"Well, I mean…I wanted to be there for you."

"I know," she begins picking at some pealing wallpaper, "Sometimes, I've hated you so much for making me…feel like I do. But, in the end, I – I can only love you."

He shakes his head, "What?"

"I love you, Chandler," she inches slowly towards him, "I love so much, Chandler."

"I love you, too," his tears were falling now, "I love you _so much_ that it hurts. It _hurts_, Monica. It'll always hurt."

Monica stops walking, her lips close enough to kiss him, "What?"

"It hurts too much, Monica - everything you've done. How can I trust you?!"

"What?"

"I love you, Monica," Chandler whispers, "But I can't be with you."

Monica furrows her forehead, "Why not? If we both love each other, then what's the problem?" she moves in and lightly brushes her lips against Chandler's, "This is what we've wanted all along…"

Chandler takes a few steps back, while shaking his head, "The first time you hurt me, I abandoned everything…and everyone. But I have friends that really care about me. And, as much as I love you, they've become my family. As far as I'm concerned, we had our chance. We had our chance, and _you _ruined it because _you _have to lead people on. I can't trust you. I can't trust someone who would leave me. I can't trust someone who leaves _everyone _she _ever _cares about. It'll only be a matter of time before you do it to me again."

"I don't want to lose these friends that I have and I don't want to lose this new life that I've made. You understand - you couldn't show your true feelings because you didn't want to leave your life."

"But I _love you_."

Chandler shakes his head, "Love isn't enough, Monica. You need trust. Maybe you trust me, but…I can't trust you. You've only given me reasons to fear you, not to trust you." 

He kisses Monica's cheek and mutters, "I love you," before turning around and briskly walking away.

"Chandler!" she calls out, but he doesn't answer. 

  
He gets in the elevator, and before she reaches it, running in her bare feet, it closes. Desperately, she flies down the staircase. However, by the time she reaches the lobby, panting heavily, he is gone. Monica falls to the ground and begins to sob. She doesn't care who sees her. She has ruined what could have been the greatest thing in her life. Nothing else matters anymore.

**_A/N: _**_TBC…_


	13. You'll Never Get it

**_Easy Lover - _**_You'll never get it_

**_A/N: _**_Here it is – the last chapter, finally! Sorry for the delay, but I've been so busy this past week that I've completely forgotten I never posted the last chapter! Yeah, um, I didn't even watch Friends until Friday night. How crazy is THAT?! It was probably the best and worst week of my entire life. Yeah, I was in stagecrew for our school musical and it was a lot of fun! It made schoolwork like 500 times harder to do, though, b/c I didn't have time. Oh well. It was worth it. :D But, be warned, if you **ever** sing a song from the Wizard of Oz to me, I will most likely have to murder you. Just so you know. ;) Okay, I'm rambling…for the last time. Please leave me *sob* one final review! (well u can leave more than one, if you feel so inclined and didn't log in to ffnet so you can trick the system)._

**_Disclaimer: _**_"Remember when I used to have a monkey? Yeah, what was I thinking?" (Translation: I don't own these characters, and I hate that line b/c the writers make fun of themselves. Dunno why I used it. But remember when I used to have an obsession with monkeys? Yeah, what was I thinking o__O)_

****

****

Chandler sits next to the window in a small café, wearing a _New York Knicks_ hat and sunglasses. Lately, he has had to disguise himself in any way possible, unless he wants to be recognized by the public. It does not bother him though. He feels accomplished. After all, recognition is the mark of a successful actor. He sips his coffee slowly, while reading a magazine. 

Suddenly, the door opens. Chandler looks up, smiles, and places the magazine under his chair. He rises and greets the two people who have just entered. They scream and run over to hug him. He almost falls over, due to the intensity of the embrace.

"Chandler! Oh, I've missed you so much!" Rachel enthuses, kissing him on the cheek.

"So, filming in Australia…how was it _down under_?!"

"It was great. Really great. But nothing like working with you guys."

"Nice save," Rachel jokes. 

Chandler leads them to the table, "Let's sit, shall we?"

"Always one for good ideas!" Joey responds, hugging Chandler again.

"Thanks…I guess."

"So, you're back for good, right?" Rachel asks.

"Yeah, yeah. We only filmed part of it in Austria, so we're finishing the rest here."

"That's great. We've really missed you."

"Thanks, I've missed you guys, too," he pauses, "So what have you all been up to?"

"Uh not much," Rachel responds, "I just got a part in a new movie."

"Oh congratulations!" 

"And guess who's in it?"

"Who?"

"Bruce Willis!"

"Oh wow! That's amazing."

"Oh, me," Joey interrupts, "Do me!"

"Okay, Joe – what's new with you?"

"I get to star in a movie with a chimp!" 

"Oh. Oh, well good luck with that."

"What?"

"I've been there…with the monkeys. Not good."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you've never heard the story of Yen, the Oriental monkey?"

"Oh right! What happened to that monkey, anyway?"

"Uh, I think she went on to become famous – she's staring in a movie with Orlando Bloom now, I've heard."

"Yes, but this is a _male _chimp. It's different."

"Okay then," He fakes enthusiasm, "Congratulations Joey!" 

"Aww, thanks man."

Chandler and Rachel share an amused look.

"So, Joey, how's Phoebe doing?"

"Oh," Joey smiles, "She's amazing."

Chandler smiles back, "I'm so happy for you guys."

"Thanks! Hey, did you know that Ross and Rachel are dating?"

"What?"

She looks nervous, "We're not…dating, per say. I mean…we just went out for a couple of drinks…"

"…And she ended up in his bed the next morning!"

Rachel blushes and kicks Joey under the table.

"Well, I'm glad the two of you are starting something up. It's about time."

Rachel laughs uncomfortably, "Yeah…"

There is an awkward silence, until Joey realizes that by mentioning Ross, he has reminded Chandler of Monica, "I mean, I – did I say Ross? I meant…Ahhh…Andrew."

"it's okay. You can talk about him. You can talk about her. I don't care."

Rachel studies Chandler carefully, "Chandler…"

"Ya know, I still think about her all the time," he clears his throat, "I did the right thing though. I mean she would've hurt me again."

"Yeah," Joey assures him, "It was the right thing."

However, as he stares at his friends, he sees that they are thinking the same thing as him. Maybe he should have given her a chance.

"Oh my God," a customer screams, breaking the awkward silence, "It's Chandler Bing, Rachel Green, and Joey Tribbiani!" 

Suddenly, people begging for their autographs bombard the friends. Grateful for the interruption, Chandler begins to talk to the crowd. However, in the back of his mind, he knows that the conversation is not yet over.

Monica sits on a couch in her house, wearing her pajamas. She has decided to take the day for herself. She was always alone, anyway, so why not spend it in her pajamas? However, just as she starts the movie, she hears her doorbell ring. Sighing, she pauses the movie and looks out of the peephole. She opens the door, surprised to see Ross standing outside of it. After a moment, he enters, nudging an anxious Rachel along with him.

"Hey Rachel, Ross. What's up?"

Ross has a puzzled look on his face, "What's with the pj's at 6 PM?"

"Oh, I just wanted to watch a movie and be comfortable, that's all."

"Since when do you watch –" Upon noticing the scolding look on Rachel's face, he stops his interrogation, "Rachel wants to talk to you."

"Um, okay," she agrees, confused.

"I'm sorry to barge in on you like this, but I really need to talk to you."

"It's…it's all right."

"Okay, well…I saw Chandler today," Monica visibly cringes, and Rachel ignores it, "I know you still love him."

Monica shrugs.

"He still loves you, too, Monica."

Monica exhales audibly, showing her disbelief. 

"I'm serious, Monica. He's upset and he's hurt, but he still loves you. I can see it in his eyes. Everyday, he beats himself up inside, because he feels like he's made a huge mistake. But he can't go back on it, because he's afraid. He's afraid of how you will react, he's afraid you no longer love him, and above all, he's afraid of being hurt again. Can you really blame him?"

Monica mumbles and shakes her head in response.

"You want to be with him, right?"

"More than anything."

"Then you have to prove your love to him. You have to prove that you will try your hardest not to hurt him again!"

"I'll do it," she pauses sadly, "B-but how?"

"Well, I have a plan," Rachel informs her, "Have you ever considered doing something new for a living?"

Chandler stumbles out of bed, angry about having to wake up so early. He approaches the living room, hearing loud, incessant knocking on his door. As soon as he opens it, Joey flies into the room and runs towards Chandler's television.

"Joey, it's six AM. What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Shh! Gotta turn on the news."

Before Chandler can argue, Joey has turned on the television and changed it to the news. He grabs Chandler's arm and demands, "Watch!"

"Okay, okay… what is up with you?"

"Nothing, shh!"

Chandler sits on the couch next to Joey, skeptically watching the screen.

"Our top story today is Monica Geller's big announcement…" 

Chandler turns to Joey, his eyes widening. "I don't want to watch this."

"No, Chandler, you _do _want to watch this."

"No, no, I don't want to see her again!" 

He rises, turning to leave the room, but Joey grabs his arm again, forcing him to sit down.

"Just stay! It would really be a shame if I had to beat you up!"

"Okay, okay," Chandler mumbles, watching anything in the room but his television screen.

"As of last week, with the help of a new friend, Rachel Green, I have discovered what I need to do with my life. I have actually known all along, but have been too blind to realize it. You see, I've been acting since I was a child, but it never meant anything to me. I started because it was what my **mother** wanted me to do. Well, it's over ten years later, and I'm still doing it. Why? There's nothing left here for me. I've always wanted to be a chef, not an actress. Over the past year, I've learned that there are more important things in life than your career and what people think of you…like loving someone. And if you're lucky enough, that person might just love you back."

_"There's nothing more important to me than being loved back by the man I love. There's nothing more important to me than showing him that he can trust me. I might have made some bad decisions in the past. I might have run away from any affection that was showered upon me. I'm not going to do that anymore. I am officially retiring from acting. This is for me, and this is for you. I love you, Chandler Bing and I'm not afraid to let the world know it."_

The newscaster continues, _"Her words have stirred mixed feelings from fans everywhere…"_

Chandler sits back, staring blankly at the screen, mouth gaping. Joey watches nervously – Chandler has not said a word, or even blinked, for a long time already.

"Chandler?"

"She quit? She quit?"

"Yeah. She quit for you."

"She quit?"

Joey pats his friend on the back, "Yes," he explained slowly, "For _you_."

"Is she really – do you think she really…?"

"Yeah, she does. And even though it was Rachel's suggestion, she jumped at the chance to do it. She wanted to show you how much she loves you. She just didn't know how. And you know we know you love her back."

"I have to see her," Chandler whispers. 

Joey nods, "We thought you would."

Quickly, Joey leads Chandler out the door. They drive in silence, until they reach Rachel's house. Chandler jumps out of the car and opens the door. As soon as he walks into the living room, he notices Monica, anxiously tapping her foot on the ground. She turns around and they lock eyes. Suddenly, Chandler realizes he is still wearing pajamas and feels slightly embarrassed. However, Monica doesn't even notice, as she walks over to him. 

"Did you really quit?" he asks breathlessly.

Monica nods, "Yes. I quit."

"For real?"

"For real. I'm not acting anymore. Not in movies, not in real life."

"I…oh."

Tears begin to stream down Monica's face. "I missed you, Chandler. I haven't stopped thinking about you, just because you left. I hate myself for not letting you in when I had the chance."

"No, no, Monica, don't. I hate myself for not giving you another chance!"

"No, you were right. I didn't deserve you. I had to prove my love to you. I really hope I did though, Chandler. I hope I proved as much as you have proved it to me. I promise I'll try my hardest not to hurt you again. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did. I love you. I could never purposely hurt you, now that I've finally admitted that to myself."

Chandler moves in closer, places his hands on her face and whispers, "I trust you." 

He moves in and kisses her tenderly on her lips. She hooks her hands around his neck. Their tears combine in a pool of relief. Slowly, they break apart, but neither is willing to lose eye contact. 

"I love you, Chandler."

"I love you, too, Monica."

Slowly, he wraps his arms around her. He sighs at the feeling of her soft skin against his own. Monica breathes in his scent, allowing herself to become completely immersed in him. Finally, neither is afraid.

**_A/N: _**_Well, there ya go. And no epilogue b/c I don't like epilogues. Ya gotta leave **something**_ _to the imagination! I mean it obviously ends happily ever after. After all, I've never read a depressing epilogue. Well, maybe I have, but this epilogue would obviously **not **be depressing, or that would be a whole other fic to write, which I have no ideas for. [/ramblings] Please review! Oh, before I forget, everyone harass Yen until she posts more fics. thanks, teehee! (Desperate times call for desperate measures, babe.)_


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